Tag Archives: Trauma

EMDR, An Effective Treatment For Trauma

“EMDR (Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing) is a psychotherapy that enables people to heal from the symptoms and emotional distress that are the result of disturbing life experiences.  Repeated studies show that by using EMDR therapy people can experience the benefits of psychotherapy that once took years to make a difference.” EMDR Institute: https://www.emdr.com/

Another great resource on childhood trauma, DV by proxy, and recovery: CarlaCorelli.com

Once, I ran from fear so fear controlled me. Until I learned to hold fear like a newborn. Listen to it, but not give in. Honour it, but not worship it. Fear could not stop me anymore. I walked with courage into the storm. I still have fear, but it does not have me.

http://www.carlacorelli.com/

Another Mom Bullied To Death By Family Court

Family Court Causes Another Mother’s Death

RIP Nia

All she wanted was her kids.

Sian, Nia’s sister

December 16, 2021 The Women’s Coalition

An inquest into a Welsh Mother’s tragic death concluded that the cause of her death was suicide by hanging.

What the report doesn’t say is that it was Family Court that caused Nia to commit suicide by taking and not protecting her children.

Nia’s self-esteem plummeted, she was unable to continue in her career, and she was overwhelmed by the legal proceedings. The loss of custody and inability to protect her children became just too painful for her to bear.

MSM (mainstream media) is reporting that Nia took her life due to “chronic anxiety”. They do not report that her anxiety was justified, caused by Family Court.

Nia’s relationship with the father of her children is framed as “toxic”, which puts the blame equally on her, rather than on his abuse. She was made to feel like she was a bad mother, but her own mother confirmed she was really an excellent mum.

MSM virtually never puts the blame where it belongs—on Family Court judges, and the system itself—when mothers or children lose their lives by suicide or murder when the mother is trying to protect her children from an abusive father in Family Court.

This misreporting by the media of the devastation of mothers and children in Family Courts contributes greatly to the perpetuation of the Crisis. It’s up to social media and internet platforms such as Substack to get the truth about the Custody Crisis.

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ACTIVISM

If you are in the UK, you can write to any of the major MSM outlets that reported on Nia’s suicide. Ask them to report on the real reason Nia is dead: Family Court. You can include a link to this post.

MSM ARTICLE

‘SHINING LIGHT’: Ex-Wales hockey player ‘took her own life after suffering from chronic anxiety’

Join The Women’s Coalition and help end the crisis.

https://www.womenscoalitioninternational.org/

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Covid lockdowns drive increase in domestic violence world-wide: Home is not always a haven

https://psycnet.apa.org/doiLanding?doi=10.1037%2Ftra0000866

https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/pii/S0160252720300534

https://obgyn.onlinelibrary.wiley.com/doi/abs/10.1002/ijgo.13247

MALIGNANT Narcissists: Dr. Ramani

Dr. Ramani Durvasula is an American clinical psychologist, professor of psychology, media expert, and author. This three part series explores in depth the Malignant Narcissist.

Part 1 of 3: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3J4MEQ3N03w

Part 2 of 3: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=K0iUJjxt40c

Part 3 of 3: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nWx_T6UfZiE

Healing After Narcissistic Abuse & “Unpacking” Your Core, Online Seminar w/ Dr. Ramani Durvasula, 8/14/21

Saturday, August 14, 2021, 1-4 PM CDT

When we think about narcissistic abuse, recovery is impacted by numerous processes – it’s not just about the frustrations, hurts, traumas, and emotional abuse that occurs within these relationships, but a much deeper iceberg – legacy issues, self-blame, shame, trauma bonds, and lots of dissonance. ….This workshop will provide an overview of and deep dive into these “core issues,” link these to the vulnerabilities to narcissism and high conflict personality styles, as well as how they impact healing, recovering, and getting stuck in these relationships. This workshop will also take on a sort of 5-part life map that guides you through the areas of life that are affected by narcissistic abuse, how to address these areas of your life, and consider them whether you are still in the relationship, are no longer in the relationships, or aren’t sure what to do. … I do hope you can join this workshop – there will be a brief overview of the patterns observed in narcissistic abuse survivors, dynamics inherent in these relationships, a review of family roles and risk factors for narcissistic relationships and then an introduction to the CORE model and the 5-part life map as a way of understanding some of the root issues to help you navigate, survive, recover, and hopefully avoid these relationships in the future.”

https://www.eventbrite.com/e/healing-after-narcissistic-relationships-unpacking-your-core-tickets-163951666849?fbclid=IwAR1ENajL0srjflv0cZ8Lq4OJISzav54dVsK89L8KmHD3gc5uW8WKtnl8_Yk

Another child/mother trafficker goes to Federal prison: Paul Peterson, former metro Phoenix Assessor & adoption lawyer sentenced to 6 years

PHOENIX (AP) — A former Arizona politician who admitted running an illegal adoption scheme in three states involving women from the Marshall Islands was sentenced in Arkansas to six years in federal prison. It was the first of three punishments he’ll face for arranging adoptions prohibited by an international compact.

Paul Petersen, a Republican who served as metro Phoenix’s assessor for six years and also worked as an adoption attorney, illegally paid women from the Pacific island nation to come to the U.S. to give up their babies in at least 70 adoptions cases in Arizona, Utah and Arkansas, prosecutors said. https://apnews.com/article/arkansas-arizona-phoenix-utah-marshall-islands-ee4f446c23675453b01674e0f2cbbae6?fbclid=IwAR1gFiyAVbf39GKFE65q5KGm9eaYI3jPzCkuZT-p1eP1kW1tL3qpILJQFa8

Maybe you’re not mentally ill-maybe your body & mind are just saying NO to abuse, Lisa Nadig

An abnormal reaction to an abnormal situation is normal behavior.” -Viktor Frankl

He should know, he’s the world-famous psychiatrist who survived the Nazi Holocaust, along with their murder of every single one of his family members.

All abusers, and all corrupt court parasites in the Family Court Holocaust label abuse victims as “mentally ill”. That’s the way the game is played, and rigged. All the better to silence you so they can continue whatever their game of abuse at the moment happens to be. And then of course, to harvest victims for the litigation-therapy racket.

But if they really hit the jackpot with a victim with some real financial assets, then look out because you’re ripe for probate court crimes, i.e. conservatorship or guardianship abuse. Or in my case, Elder Abuse of my father – Financial Exploitation of An Elderly Person With a Disability, which for the high dollar amount in our case, just happens to be a Class I Felony here in Illinois.

The most famous, current example is Britney Spears, whose corrupt child custody case fed directly into her current 13-year long Conservatorship nightmare. All abusers and court parasites know the best way to control a woman is through their kids. Britney was threatened with you’d better agree to this conservatorship or you’ll never see your kids again.

Britney Spears

She had good reason to believe them too, as Jane Shatz – (who lost her license in California for misconduct & is now trying to get licensed in Nevada) – wrote a fraudulent custody evaluation for the kids’ father, Jason Federline & Spears’ very own father – the perfect team of misogynistic domestic abusers ganging up on the woman in the family, you know – just keeping her in her place, right? You know, that little woman whose hard work, and world class talent is feeding, clothing and housing them all. Now, at age 39, Spears has finally said NO, this is enough.

I should know too – my ex-husband and his gang of court parasites and psychopaths, trying their best to label me as “crazy”. They were so frustrated, they thought they had finally won this key play in the abusers/court parasite handbook. Imagine their surprise when their little Gaslighting scam on me failed. And all they had to show for their manipulations was “Adjustment Disorder” – Situational Depression/Anxiety caused by THEM – BY THEIR LEGAL & FINANCIAL ABUSE!

And while our four generation family farm wealth certainly pails in comparison to what an abusive ex & court parasites can steal from a mega star like Britney Spears, my share of our estate was ripe for their pickings, with an elderly father ill with Parkinson’s, and his wife’s health failing from failed back surgery syndrome. But if it was this easy to commit all these crimes against a major world pop star, just think how easy it is to do to the rest of us?!

AMother’sHeartSongsUnsilenced Turns Seven: Why I Write, Lisa Nadig

#nataliekoga #exposethecorruption

I was forced to look directly into the face of evil, and I saw evil looking back at me. But I learned that telling the truth really does set you free – It might even save your life.

Seven years ago, on my birthday in 2014, I had no idea that my simple, anonymous blog post about a birthday cut off from my only child due to court licensed abuse, would morph into a website with the power to force the rich and powerful corrupt players in my Chicago family court case to resign. I only knew in my heart that day, celebrating my birthday alone, that I must express the inexpressible, because it was killing me. So, without any training as a writer, journalist, activist or web designer, I wrote my first article, Birthday Reflections, and published it here anonymously, on July 5, 2014.

But when the post exposing corrupt Child Representative Natalie Koga went viral, I began receiving anonymous threats to take this website down. Little did I know at the time that they were all facing investigation due to this exposure. But I will never be silenced by such bullies, and I have never accepted any payment for this website – a labor of love for fellow survivors.

Abusers know the best way to break a woman is by taking her Child. When an abusive man files for Sole Custody he gets it 70% of the time.

What began as a simple blog, developed into a comprehensive website. I’ve been contacted by people from all over the United States, and Europe, sharing similar stories, and thanking me for this site.

This site is searchable, organized under Categories and Tags. There are static “Pages” across the top, and Blog posts running down the right side.

It covers domestic abuse, legal abuse/court stalking, court corruption, Kids for Cash scams, the litigation-therapy racket, the billions of dollars in federal money for abusive fathers through the Federal Fatherhood Initiative driving these cases, the need for oversight/accountability for judges, lawyers, and court vendors, and cameras in the courtroom. Also included is information on Conservatorship and Guardianship abuse because Family Court crimes are frequently a gateway to Probate crimes.

It has comprehensive information on healing from trauma and corruption, including countless articles written by top experts, including Michael Volpe, Barry Goldstein, Tina Swithin, Doreen Ludwig, Sam Vaknin, Kim Saeed, and many others.

It also includes my own articles on healing, documenting the corruption in my own case, and others across the country. I’ve included case law, legal statutes, and lawsuits filed against corrupt officials, and abusive parents. There are Resources pages with hundreds of hours of researching and compiling valuable resources in one place.

Though when I started writing in 2014 this site was completely anonymous, my ex-husband and his vicious lawyers immediately began hauling me into court over it. Apparently, they didn’t want me to have a voice.

Natalie Koga pushed the judge to allow my ex to file 8 custody petitions, reducing my Child & I to mere commodities in their Kids for Cash scam.

As my ex’s lawyer #6 abused, and harassed me on the witness stand, to my amazement, the corrupt judge was visibly moved by my writings. For a moment frozen in time forever etched in my memory, I saw a flicker of humanity, a flash of recognition that it was wrong. I saw the person he once was as a young man, or might have become, before he fell in line, “going along to get along” in the Cook County family court racket. Visibly shaken, he quietly excused me from testifying, and hurriedly dismissed their petition for sanctions against me.

Separating children from their mothers is big business. Billions$ in Federal Fatherhood funding drives these cases, along w/ an abuser’s drive to use litigation to punish his victim for leaving & avoid child support payments.

But they kept hauling me into court to answer countless harassing motions, including four attempts to throw me in jail – all alone – because there had been so much legal/financial abuse that they ran me out of money for a lawyer.

It’s been a very long, tough journey, these past seven years. I’ve discovered things about corruption in our courts, and our government, that quite frankly, sometimes I wish I didn’t know. Dark, disturbing, ugly things that make it difficult for me to celebrate July Fourth or other patriotic holidays.

I’m grateful to the wonderful friends and mentors I’ve met along this journey. I’m inspired daily by their courage, and dedication to helping innocent people used by corrupt court officials and vendors in their pursuit of easy wealth without work – their Kids For Cash scams.

I’m profoundly grateful to the countless court victims – parents and children – who’ve stepped forward, trusting me with their stories.

The truth really does set you free – Veritas liberabit.

I’ve learned that I could survive the un-survivable – a gang – a cabal really – that tried with all their might to bully me to death through family court. I survived their threats, and stalking – both in and out of court – while being forcibly stripped of my humanity, to be used as a commodity in their scams. And I’ve learned to never stop speaking the truth, for it has the power to set you free. It might even save your life.

From One Mom’s Battle: Domestic Violence By Proxy

“A Message from OMB’s President (Rebecca Davis Merritt) and Vice President (Jennifer) about Domestic Violence by Proxy: You have probably seen OMB’s informational poster about why we advocate not using the term or “theory” of Parental Alienation. We post it once a month encouraging our readers to understand that the controlling behaviors of Cluster B parents in trying to place a wedge between the children and healthy parent is Domestic Violence by Proxy. The emotional abuse of a Cluster B is domestic Violence (DV). When a Cluster B personality disordered individual enters the family court system they wage war upon the healthy parent.

They may have been absent parents never attending school, medical or dental appointments but suddenly they attend everything, preening as the doting father or mother and may push for custody. Custody is seen as a prize. The goal is to hurt the healthy primary parent and save money via child support calculations.

As part of that push they groom children to see their healthy parent as untrustworthy and self-centered (projection), with divorce or separation their fault while portraying the Cluster B parent as wounded and needing the children to shower him or her with love and affection. Children often respond to this gaslighting by siding with the abusive parent. The Cluster B parent often blames the healthy parent for his or her own actions, claiming parental alienation (PA). If the children distrust Cluster B parent based upon a history of abusive behaviors, this estrangement is labeled as PA. The healthy parent, unfortunately, is at serious risk of losing custody  in family court.

Men who physically batter their former partner are much more likely to gain custody than the healthy parent.  Courts have been taught that women claiming DV in family court are usually lying and using this false claim to secure custody. Even when DV claims are accepted, courts falsely believe DV only affects direct victim and that abusers can be good parents to their children. Once Cluster Bs have the children away from the healthy parent, they use manipulation and other forms of abuse to convince the children that their other parent never loved them and are untrustworthy. Alina Patterson (2003) first defined Domestic Violence by Proxy or DV Proxy. DV Proxy is a pattern of behavior where a parent with a history of using domestic violence, or intimidation uses the child (as a substitute) when s/he does not have access to the former partner. Continuing the cycle of domestic violence, the cycle of Domestic Violence by Proxy starts when the victim leaves the abuser and the abuser learns the easiest way to continue to harm and control the former partner is through controlling access to the children.

Once the abuser has control of the children they are able to continue stalking, harassing and abusing the former partner even when the abuser has no direct access. DV can manifest in ways such as threats to the children if they display a close relationship with the former partner, destroying the children’s favorite possessions given by the former partner and emotional abuse. Children are often coached to make false allegations about the parent.DV by proxy is very deliberate and planned. The abusers know what they are doing and chose their controlling, coercive, and illegal behaviors. The behaviors are usually surrounded by threats and fears and often include “battery, destruction of property, locking children in rooms to prevent them from calling parents, falsifying documents, along with other similar overt behaviors.”

As the leadership council suggests, “Calling this behavior “parental alienation” is not strong enough to convey the criminal pattern of terroristic behaviors employed by batterers.” Unlike Gardner’s discredited PAS theory, the behaviors associated with DV by proxy are visible. Gardner stated the behaviors by the “alienating parent” were unconscious or unseen. This is one of the scarier components in Gardner’s theory because you cannot defend yourself against unseen things. Many healthy parents have found themselves trying to defend themselves against these unseen behaviors.

Family court professionals often fail to understand the presence and implications of both domestic violence and Cluster B psychopathology. Thus family court usually encourages unfettered access of the children to abusers. Family court judges and lawyers often work to punish healthy parents reporting bona fide abuse. Yet, they often seem to believe the victim stories told by abusers. Court officials often seem slow to recognize how family court itself can be abusive, particularly protracted, repeated, unnecessary court hearings used by the abuser to drain the financial and emotional resources of the healthy parent. Children may be placed with the abuser while the healthy parent is discredited through accusations of mental illness or PA. Other professionals involved including GALs, evaluators, therapists, etc. often take on responsibilities that are beyond their skill level. Antisocial and or Narcissistic personality disordered parents with good impression management skills are adept at “conning people, or gaining sympathy, and can win the trust and support of a family court professional while turning that same person against their ex-partner.”

The main goal of the abuser is s/he will end up with complete control over the children and will use this power over his former partner, “who tried to escape the power and control of the once abusive marriage.” They do not care if the children are harmed as long as their former partner is hurt and they feel they have won. It is imperative that the healthy parent and attorney understands how to use DV by proxy to counter and claims of parental alienation.

The following links may also be helpful: http://www.thelizlibrary.org/liz/Hoult-PASarticlechildrenslawjournal.pdfhttps://www.leadershipcouncil.org/1/pas/dv.htmlhttp://www.dvleap.org/Programs/CustodyAbuseProject/PASCaseOverview.as 

###One Mom’s Battle: Our mission at One Mom’s Battle is to increase awareness of Cluster B personality disorders (Narcissistic Personality Disorder, Antisocial Personality Disorder and Borderline Personality Disorder) and their impact upon shared parenting and the Family Court System which includes Judges, CPS workers, Guardian ad Litems (GAL), Parenting Coordinators (PC), Custody Evaluators, therapists and attorneys. Education on Cluster B disorders will allow these professionals to truly act in the best interest of the children.

History of One Mom’s Battle: In 2009, One Mom’s Battle began with one mother, (Tina Swithin), navigating the choppy waters of a high-conflict divorce in the Family Court System. Since then, it has turned into a grassroots movement reaching the far corners of the Earth. Tina’s battle spanned from 2009 – 2014 during which time she acted as her own attorney. Ultimately, Tina was successful in protecting her daughters and her family has enjoyed complete peace since October 2014 when a Family Court commissioner called her ex-husband a “sociopath” and revoked his parenting time in a final custody order.Tina Swithin: Tina Swithin’s books are available online at Amazon (print, Kindle or audio format). Each year, Tina offers life-changing weekends of camaraderie and healing at the Lemonade Power Retreat.  Tina also offers one-on-one coaching services and a private, secure forum called, The Lemonade Club, for those enduring high-conflict custody battles.”https://www.onemomsbattle.com/blog/domestic-violence-by-proxy