Tag Archives: psychological abuse

Back To School With Stockton’s Very Own “Science Guy”, 45 Year Stockton Science Teacher, Mr. Gary Underwood

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The above photo is from the Stockton Public Schools Radiothon, Fall 2021. Pictured is Superintendent James Bunting (Center) holding the microphone, without his mask. All photos have been previously published on the world wide web, the school’s social media sites, throughout the news media, and republished according to fair use laws.

September 23, 2021, Stockton School Board Meeting, Stockton, IL: It’s time we all took a refresher course, a review of lessons learned in Science Class. Here to help us is 45 year Stockton High School Science Teacher, Mr. Gary Underwood.

Mr. Underwood very graciously accepted the community’s request to address the Stockton School Board meeting. He began by clearing up the definition of the word Science: “Science is the search for truth. But now, this isn’t Science, it’s Political Science. ” Mr. Underwood then gave a brief review on Viruses. He asked us: “Have any of you ever seen a virus?” When nobody responded that they had, he said: “You need an electron microscope to see a virus.” Before Mr. Underwood concluded his refresher course on Science and Viruses, he looked around the gymnasium and said: “There isn’t a single mask in this entire place that could stop a virus.”

School Board President NEIL CAHILL (Rear Row, 2nd from Right) voted to keep our kids in masks all day but clearly enjoys Mask Optional at his convenience. Mr. Cahill has been observed harassing the people at Board Meetings over how they’re wearing their masks. Middle School Boy’s Basketball, Winter 2022, Stockton HS Gym, Stockton, IL. Photo from Stockton Schools social media sites, and media at large.

We would like to thank Mr. Underwood for our sorely needed science refresher course. It seems that “Science” is a word that’s become a political weapon, that it means whatever drives a certain financial or political agenda.

Stockton School Board Members, NICOLE HAAS (Rear Center) & TONIA BLAIR (Front Center) who Voted To Keep Our Babies In Masks All Day, but enjoy Mask Optional for themselves. Ms. Haas & Ms. Blair were filmed harassing and mocking members of the public, as they peacefully exercised their legal rights to speak at an Open School Board Meeting. Corner Tap, Main Street, Stockton, IL

I’m also grateful to hear that Mr. Underwood is not afraid of viruses to the point he would sit home in fear and isolation, or endorse reliance on a thin piece of cloth to feel “Safe”. Nor is Mr. Underwood hypocritical or willing to misuse his position of power and influence to force children to do something he himself is not really willing to do.

Stockton School Board Member TONIA BLAIR (left) goes Mask Optional but Voted To Keep Our Kids In Masks All Day. Ms. Blair was filmed angrily berating and mocking the public as they peacefully exercised their legal rights to speak at an Open School Board Meeting. Corner Tap, Main Street, Stockton, IL

But our school board is regularly observed parading around our community without their masks on – defying the governor’s mandate to wear masks in these public places. They freely waltz into school events, stores, restaurants and bars all over town on a daily basis, without the masks they gladly force our babies to wear all day, AND in open defiance of the governor’s mandate for masks in all public places.

But let’s go back to that word “Safe”. Wow! Now that’s another word misused to create fear. How many times do you hear “Stay safe!” If I hear someone tell me “Stay safe” when I go to a public place, I know they too are living the lie, and pretending that living in fear – while traumatizing our children – is somehow a really grand, and noble thing.

Stockton School Board Member, Laura Dittmar-Wilkinson, who voted to keep the Mask Mandate – masking our kids all day long, decides to attend a school event as “Mask Optional” in the Stockton High School Gymnasium, Stockton, IL. Edited to add: Ms. Dittmar Wilkinson has since stated that at this particular event she only removed her mask for a photo (which is against the Mandate). However, she has been frequently observed not wearing her mask at all, throughout the community.

But if the Stockton School Board really believed their own lies – that the mask is keeping everyone safe – including them – they’d never take it off in public, would they. And if they really believed in the governor’s mandate to wear masks in all public places, they wouldn’t openly defy it out in front of us every day.

Franklin Delano Roosevelt once said: “The only thing we have to fear is fear itself.” That’s as true today as it was when our country faced the Great Depression, and World War II.

But the thing I fear isn’t a virus that the vast majority of people fully recover from. And the Stockton School Board has proven they don’t really fear it either, by their own actions out in the community every day – they just PRETEND to be afraid.

No, what I fear most are School Board members who would dare presume to know more about Science than our Science Teacher.

I fear School Board members who are willing to throw our children’s education away just for the Covid Relief payoff – throwing the baby out with the bathwater – because they’ve lost approximately 10-15 children to homeschooling already – at approximately $16K per child! So, on the low end of 10 children at $16k per child, for 12 years, is $1.92 Million, nearly twice the $1.12 Million in Covid Relief funding received for this school year.

Our school enrollment has already been rapidly dwindling for years, to the point that not too long ago, there was a push to consolidate with the Warren schools. High School enrollment is already down approximately 50% over the last few decades. Can we really afford to continue to lose students? This is certainly very poor long-term planning.

I fear School Board members who are so threatened by anyone who disagrees that they attempt to deprive them of their First Amendment rights through intimidation, and smear campaigns. Who illegally attempt to silence dissent by harassing, bullying and openly mocking the public for peacefully exercising their right to speak at Open Meetings – in violation of the Open Meetings Act.

I fear School Board members who force kids to do what they themselves won’t do, just so they can look “politically correct”, while they do “virtue signaling performance art” for each other, but at the same time, demonstrating publicly that these were really just sham performances.

I fear school board members who’ve forgotten their duty to serve the public with respect, grace, dignity and diligence. I fear school board members who seem blissfully unaware of the momentous task ahead of them in repairing the public’s trust and goodwill.

I fear Big Pharma CEO’s beholden to shareholders profits, driving medical treatment decisions for patients instead of Doctors. I fear the exploitation of our precious children, by turning them into mere commodities for a political and financial agenda. I fear the physical and emotional abuse of our children – forced to wear an absolutely disgustingly filthy cloth on their faces all day. I fear turning our precious children into sacrificial cash cows.

I fear notoriously corrupt Illinois politics – ranked among the worst in the country – compromising our children’s education and futures. I fear the political posturing, Big Pharma corruption, propaganda campaigns & corruption at the federal, state and local levels, cherry-picking evidence, lying, bullying, tyrannical overreach, law breaking, violations of our Constitutional rights, vicious, baseless smear campaigns, and witch hunts by those with ulterior financial and political motives.

THIS is what we ALL should fear.

When Parental Alienation (DV by Proxy) Has You Ready To Give Up, Susan S. Hofer

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Being an Alienated Parent is Excruciating

“An alienated parent’s life is an excruciating existence, one that takes an enormous amount of energy to live.  The results of your efforts are always filled with disappointment and pain.  What else would you do, in your life, that involves so much fortitude to be rejected every time?  No one likes rejection, but for you, the alienated parent, rejection is your new normal.  Still, it hurts each time you reach out to your precious child only to hear silence.  The wound never gets a chance to heal.” https://www.susanshofer.com/when-parental-alienation-has-you-ready-to-give-up/

Healing After Narcissistic Abuse & “Unpacking” Your Core, Online Seminar w/ Dr. Ramani Durvasula, 8/14/21

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Saturday, August 14, 2021, 1-4 PM CDT

“When we think about narcissistic abuse, recovery is impacted by numerous processes – it’s not just about the frustrations, hurts, traumas, and emotional abuse that occurs within these relationships, but a much deeper iceberg – legacy issues, self-blame, shame, trauma bonds, and lots of dissonance. ….This workshop will provide an overview of and deep dive into these “core issues,” link these to the vulnerabilities to narcissism and high conflict personality styles, as well as how they impact healing, recovering, and getting stuck in these relationships. This workshop will also take on a sort of 5-part life map that guides you through the areas of life that are affected by narcissistic abuse, how to address these areas of your life, and consider them whether you are still in the relationship, are no longer in the relationships, or aren’t sure what to do. … I do hope you can join this workshop – there will be a brief overview of the patterns observed in narcissistic abuse survivors, dynamics inherent in these relationships, a review of family roles and risk factors for narcissistic relationships and then an introduction to the CORE model and the 5-part life map as a way of understanding some of the root issues to help you navigate, survive, recover, and hopefully avoid these relationships in the future.”

https://www.eventbrite.com/e/healing-after-narcissistic-relationships-unpacking-your-core-tickets-163951666849?fbclid=IwAR1ENajL0srjflv0cZ8Lq4OJISzav54dVsK89L8KmHD3gc5uW8WKtnl8_Yk

Abusive Power And Control

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The following is an excerpt of an excellent resource on Abusive Power And Control behaviors from Wikipeda. Please see the link at the bottom of this excerpt for the complete article. It does a great job of showing many of the power and control tactics used by abusive, controlling, and manipulative people in one short article. It is also helpful in that it lists what most would consider as “positive behaviors”, i.e. doing “nice things” for someone. Most articles on abuse, power and control, and coercive control focus on the overtly negative behaviors, but leave out these positive behaviors that are also used to coerce and control others.

However, it does omit Suicidality. Many abusive, controlling and manipulative people also use threats of suicide as a means of coercive control, emotional abuse and blackmail. These suicidal threats can be overt, or more subtle references to suicide, with a manipulative, controlling intent.

“Abusive power and control (also controlling behavior and coercive control) is commonly used by an abusive person to gain and maintain power and control over another person in order to subject that victim to psychological, physical, sexual, or financial abuse. The motivations of the abuser are varied and can include devaluation, envy, personal gain, personal gratification, psychological projection, or just for the sake of the enjoyment of exercising power and control.[1]

Controlling abusers use tactics to exert power and control over their victims. The tactics themselves are psychologically and sometimes physically abusive. Control may be exerted through economic abuse, limiting the victim, as they may not have the means to resist or leave the abuse.[2] The goal of the abuser is to control, intimidate, and influence the victim to feel they do not have an equal voice in the relationship.[3]

Manipulators and abusers often control their victims with a range of tactics, including, but not limited to, positive reinforcement (such as praise, superficial charm, flattery, ingratiation, love bombing, smiling, gifts, attention), negative reinforcement (taking away aversive tasks or items), intermittent or partial reinforcement, psychological punishment (such as nagging, silent treatment, swearing, threats, intimidation, emotional blackmail, guilt trips, inattention) and traumatic tactics (such as verbal abuse or explosive anger).[4]

The vulnerabilities of the victim are exploited with those who are particularly vulnerable being most often selected as targets.[4][5][6] Traumatic bonding (also popularly known as Stockholm syndrome) can occur between the abuser and victim as the result of ongoing cycles of abuse in which the intermittent reinforcement of reward and punishment creates powerful emotional bonds that are resistant to change and a climate of fear.[7] An attempt may be made to normalise, legitimise, rationalise, deny, or minimise the abusive behaviour, or blame the victim for it.[8][9][10]

Isolation, gaslighting, mind games, lying, disinformation, propaganda, destabilisation, brainwashing, and divide and rule are other strategies that are often used. The victim may be plied with alcohol or drugs or deprived of sleep to help disorientate them.[11][12] Based on statistical evidence, certain personality disorders correlate with abusive tendencies of individuals with those specific personality disorders when also compiled with abusive childhoods themselves. [13]

The seriousness of coercive control in modern Western societies has been increasingly realised with changes to the law in several countries so it is a definable criminal offence. In conjunction with this there have been increased attempts by the legal establishment to understand the characteristics and effects of coercive control in legal terminology. For example, on January 1, 2019, Ireland enacted the Domestic Violence Act 2018, which allowed for the practice of coercive control to be identifiable based upon its effects on the victim. And on this basis defining it as: ‘any evidence of deterioration in the physical, psychological, or emotional welfare of the applicant or a dependent person which is caused directly by fear of the behaviour of the respondent’.[14] On a similar basis of attempting to understand and stop the widespread practice of coercive control, in 2019, the UK government made teaching about what coercive control was a mandatory part of the education syllabus on relationships.[15] While coercive control is often considered in the context of an existing intimate relationship, when it is used to elicit a sexual encounter it is legally considered as being a constituent part of sexual abuse or rape. When it is used to begin and maintain a longer term intimate relationship it is considered to be a constituent element of sexual slavery.” https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Abusive_power_and_control

The Verbal Vomit of the Psychological Abuser: Projection and Blame-shifting

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Have you ever noticed that the psychologically abusive person invariably accuses you of what they’re really doing?  Once I understood this, I never bothered to entertain these pathetic, over the top, manipulative mind games again.

Their nonsensical word-salad, hysterical shrieking & carrying-on, their woe-is-me guilt trips, sneaky, sleight of hand distractions, lies of omission, half-truths & distortions, “because I said so” circular logic, their exaggerated over-acting, wild gesticulations, stomping about, and verbal diarrhea will show itself as the ridiculous and pathetic over-acting job that it really is; a desperate attempt to conceal who and what they really are, underneath their carefully crafted, charming charade.  And you will know everything that they themselves are really up to, behind all of their ridiculous blustering, and blundering about.  The following article does a wonderful analysis of these sad tactics.

“Like a volcano burbling and and ready to spew hot magma, hissing and blowing steam, prepared to erupt at any given moment, narcissistic abusers have great difficulty when their false self mask slips. Underneath the mask lies a psychic void in which the narcissist seeks to extract ego fuel, or narcissistic supply, from his/her relationships and interactions (Schneider, 2017). When a narcissistic abuser feels exposed due to a short-coming of their own, this person will feel as if a narcissistic injury has been imposed upon them by their targeted object (person supplying ego fuel).  It’s hard to fathom that setting a healthy boundary with a narcissist is interpreted by the abuser as an egregious, blasphemous and slanderous statement they take very personally. A healthy individual would receive a constructive comment as an opportunity to learn, grow, make amends, compromise, and evolve with their loved one. A narcissistic person is threatened by any input which renders them any thing less than exceptionally unique and special.”

Complete Article: The Verbal Vomit of the Psychological Abuser: Projection and Blame-shifting

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How To Overcome Fear After Psychological Narcissistic Abuse, by Kim Saeed

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How To Overcome Fear After Psychological Narcissistic Abuse, by Kim Saeed

“Understanding how to overcome fear is a crucial part of narcissistic abuse recovery.  As you wander out into the world free from the narcissist’s chains, you might feel, well, off.  You probably find yourself second-guessing every decision you make. Maybe you’ve noticed your behavior is more impulsive than you remember.  This is normal.”  How To Overcome Fear After Psychological Narcissistic Abuse

What Is Coercive Control?

Coercive control is dangerous to your mental health.  It is sneaky, insidious, manipulative, and ultimately very destructive.  These all-encompassing strategies to control someone’s realities, their personality, daily interactions may not seem to be like “real abuse”, but it is definitely very harmful.   The goal is to completely overpower you until you no longer remember who you are, until the abuser has complete control over every aspect of your life, and of your very identity.

https://onlinelibrary.wiley.com/doi/10.1002/car.2611 When Coercive Control Continues To Harm Children Post-Separation

 

Why Family Courts and CPS Target Fit Parents, by Patricia Mitchell

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By Patricia Mitchell

Rich, poor, middle class – no child in America is safe. These words of award-winning investigative journalist Keith Harmon Snow (author of The Worst Interests of the Child) refer to the abusive practices that regularly occur within the Family Courts and Child Protective Services (CPS) Courts. On their watch, each year hundreds of thousands of children suffer from abuse (including rape and prolonged torture) that would not have happened without this court system’s initial invasion and subsequent entrapment.

Removing children from their homes, separating children from parents, and creating conflict within the family unit is good business for the judicial officials and has become what the Family and CPS Courts do best.

Court officials heavily profit from these induced conflicts. They have learned how to milk the system for financial gain, by targeting the protective (fit) parent instead of the abusive (unfit) parent, resulting in children getting placed with pedophiles, sadistic sociopaths, and narcissists, in life-threatening environments. Although “the State” will pay the court officials if a low income or poor family is involved, the system forces protective parents who are middle class or wealthier to foot the bills for all court services. Either way, rich or poor, court officials have made a big business out of family conflicts, using children as currency.

Why would the courts target a fit parent instead of an unfit parent? Because there is no money to be made off of the unfit one. The Family and CPS Courts require one parent willing to participate with them, to care about the child’s well being and, most importantly, to make a commitment to the courts. Protective parents will do anything and everything the courts demand of them. Whereas abusive parents are more likely to give in after the court system’s first hurdle, demand, or when he/she sees the bills, simply saying, “Fine, take the child.”  Why Family Courts and CPS Target Fit Parents

Mom Files Civil Rights Lawsuit to Restore Parental Rights, Press Conference

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“Reactive Abuse”/They call you abusive for reacting to their abuse”

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“A very common aspect of psychological abuse and manipulation is for the abuser to claim that the victim is being abusive towards them. I’ve written about the abusers “victim complex”, and “gaslighting” in this manner before.
But right now I want to address the specific scenario in which the victim snaps at the abuser. They endure and endure, they have been told that there is nothing to react to, they have been told they overreact to everything, so they are afraid to mention their hurt, and confusion, and cannot acknowledge they are being abused. 
The endure so much for so long, they snap. They scream at the abuser. Insult them. Maybe even throw in a low-blow or unfair insult. They may even physically attack, although this is very very uncommon in victims of abuse. 
The abuser jumps on this reactionary outburst. They claim it is “proof” that the victim is unstable. They claim it is “proof” that the victim is the abuser after all. They can hold it up, and hold it against the victim for as long as they can, and as hard as they can. 
The abuser turns the roles, and paints themselves as the victim.””