Dr. Ramani Durvasula is on a mission to demystify and dismantle the toxic influence of narcissism on all of our lives. She is a clinical psychologist in private practice in Santa Monica and Sherman Oaks, CA and Professor of Psychology at California State University, Los Angeles, where she was named Outstanding Professor in 2012, and a visiting professor at the University of Johannesburg. She was also the national recipient of the American Association of University Women Emerging Scholar Award.
“The reason Narcissits hold so much power in your family, your workplace, and society is because they are enabled. In workplaces nobody wants to kill the “golden goose”, society confuses arrogance and narcissism with confidence, families are scared of the narcissists’s rage, and social media rewards the outrageous, shameless behavior that narcissists are the masters at. The challenge is that once you’ve been woke to this pattern of narcissism, you see it and you can’t unsee it, and not just in the narcissist that has lead you on this journey of becoming more knowledgeable, but also in many people around you. You start to see that you have been playing on a toxic playing field for a long time. But if you know some of the kinds of statements and things that the enablers say, it lets you know that you are in fact potentially dealing with enablers and perhaps you can then stop questioning yourself, set better boundaries and hold onto your own reality.”
“A favourite tactic of the bully in the family is to set people against each other. The benefits to the bully are that: a) the bully gains a great deal of gratification (a perverse form of satisfaction) from encouraging and provoking argument, quarreling and hostility, and then from watching others engage in adversarial interaction and destructive conflict, and b) the ensuing conflict ensures that people’s attention is distracted and diverted away from the cause of the conflict.”
“This is an extremely vulnerable time for survivors, and abusers are using it as an excuse to find new ways to exert control. Some of those tactics include feigning illness, not allowing family members to interact or go outside the home at all, withdrawing all money out of bank accounts, contacting the survivor’s work and falsely stating they were exposed to the virus, etc. While some of these tactics may be new and based on the public health crisis, the dynamics of power and control remain the same.
Across the country and world, there has been a serious uptick in domestic violence related crimes. Direct service agencies are seeing an influx of new cases and in some jurisdictions, law enforcement are responding to more calls. This means that survivors need support, resources, services, and shelter more than ever. Fortunately, shelters and other resources remain open during this time as essential businesses.” 
“For the first time (In the UK), numerous psychological and coercive behaviours became unlawful. For example, isolating a person from friends and family, monitoring their time, destroying their possessions, monitoring via online communication tools or using spyware, taking control over where people can go and who they can see, and accessing personal communication (phone and email accounts). All typically justified by perpetrators as “caring”, “because I worry about you,” or argued as acceptable because “you don’t answer my calls” and “I never know where you are or who you are with, so what do you expect.”
At the end of the day, focusing on every minute detail of the web of corruption just takes time away from living our own lives, free from their exploitation.
A child comes into the world in a state of innocence, and the right to this sovereignty of the self is the responsibility of adults to protect. This is our parental responsibility – to protect our children from awareness of adult problems, so they may develop age appropriately to maturity. Your mother would have given her right arm to be allowed to protect you. 
You were a vulnerable child who deserved to be protected from adult hatred, adult issues, and the family court racket. You deserved better. How could a child ever be expected to stand against a group of adults? 
So, to any kids who may be reading this: please know that your mother grieves for you every day. She loves you with the fiercely protective, tender love of a mother’s heart. A love you’ll never comprehend until you have children of your own.
Our kitchens and homes are empty without you. And we wait, hoping every day is the day we can reconnect with you. So please, if you are in this situation or know someone who is, tell your mother you love her. She’s prayed for this every single day.
In the opening scene of The Sound of Music, Maria sings “I go to the hills when my heart is lonely, I know I will hear what I’ve heard before…” 
I’ll never forget the corrupt Child Representative Natalie Koga’s Machiavellian sneer, and her arrogant, fake, sing-songy, patronizing voice: “Lisa, you just need to 
And who could ever forget Dr. Fisher’s disturbing, cringe-worthy performance for a packed courtroom during one of his several days of false testimony!
When I objected, he noted that I had an “anger problem”. But his psychological testing showed the opposite, which of course he omitted from the custody evaluation, like the good little hired gun that he was. When I showed the natural indignation of any normal, decent person to his disgusting questions, he wrote that I was “emotionally labile“.
They are the bottom feeders of their professions who need you trapped, or they won’t have a job. 
I developed “Broken Heart Syndrome” with such severe chest pain, I struggled with my teaching job. I went from the woman doing it all, all the time – raising her child mostly alone, running a teaching studio, singing, and maintaining a large wooded property – to bed-ridden, after these vicious people finished running me through their Kids for Cash machine.
I knew that in order to survive, I had to go back to the country. I fell asleep listening to the music of crickets singing. Walked my dog in the rolling, wooded hills with the sun on my face.
“The mountains are calling and I must go.
Happy Mother’s Day to all the Moms out there screwed over by our woman-hating, abuser-loving, greedy, corrupt family courts. Mothers are amazing! It takes a really remarkable woman to survive it all. You are loved!♥♥♥You are appreciated!♥♥♥You matter!!!♥♥♥
Mothers create the beauty and magic of holidays! They are keepers of traditions. They are gift buyers and wrappers. They clean, decorate and prepare. They hostess, entertain, then they pack it all up again. They are memory makers, and photo takers. They remember anniversaries, birthdays, and special occasions. They are the card and gift senders.
Mothers are forever connected to their children at the most basic, fundamental, core physical, cellular, mitochondrial, neurological, spiritual and emotional levels. They are all of this and so much more…they are your only, irreplaceable Mother!
AMother'sHeartSongsUnsilenced 