“Love has never been conquered, not even by the greatest army.” – Matshono Dhliwayo
Resources page providing support for children who were stolen from a loving parent and family, as well as erased families separated by family by court corruption, Kids For Cash scams, Court Licensed Abuse, Medical Kidnapping, Domestic Violence by Proxy, Parental Alienation, CPS Corruption or Kidnapping:
Here is a copy of Ms. Hadzi-Tanovic’s Federal Complaint against ex-husband Slabodan Pavlovich, Associate Judge Robert W. Johnson, and former powerful attorney David Pasulka, who acted as the Guardian ad Litem on the Case. Pasulka also formerly headed a secret list of lawyers chosen for the highly lucrative appointments as GAL’s & Child Reps in Cook County Chicago. Recently, the IL ARDC finally acted to disbar Pasulka, after many years of ignored complaints. True to the pattern of bad judges and lawyers protecting one another through the IL ARDC, Judicial Inquiry Board, and the head judge offices, they only acted after significant publicity. Sadly, bad judges and lawyers continue causing serious harm to children and families on a routine basis, only facing consequences once the negative publicity finally becomes too great to ignore. In this case, the IL ARDC finally acted against Pasulka only after attorney Lawrence Thompson’s open letter calling for the resignations of Cook County’s head judges Tim Evans and Grace Dickler, for allowing Paulka to remain in power, was aired on CBS Channel 2 News. https://songsunsilenced.wordpress.com/2021/03/23/attorney-claims-top-chicago-judges-enabled-embattled-lawyer-david-pasulka-to-have-unchecked-power-in-selecting-family-lawyers/
“Aneta Hadzi-Tanovic, leader of the local Illinois Women’s Coalition, has filed an $8 million federal lawsuit against Family Court judge Robert Wade Johnson, the GAL, and her ex for conspiring to deprive her under the color of law of her right to due process and equal protection, as well as for the intentional torts “abuse of process” and “intentional infliction of emotional distress”.
Aneta’s custody nightmare mirrors women’s cases all over the country and world in which Family Court judges disregard substantial negative evidence about the father, and fabricate negative evidence about the mother, in order to justify switching custody to the father.” Mom Sues Judge, GAL and Ex For $8M In U.S. Federal Court
LAWSUIT COUNTS
1. Conspiracy to deprive of due process [42 U.S.C. §1983]
2. Conspiracy to deprive of equal protection under the law [42 U.S.C. §1983]
3. Abuse of process [intentional tort]
4. Intentional infliction of emotional distress [intentional tort]
In Part one of this continuing series “Fraud on the Court”, we discussed the definition of Fraud on the Court, how it vitiates or sets aside all orders from a court tainted by fraud on the court, and included many case law examples. https://songsunsilenced.wordpress.com/2020/09/06/fraud-on-the-court-pt-1-definitions-and-case-law/
Today we begin the first part of understanding the statute of limitations for Fraud on the Court: QUITE SIMPLY, THERE IS NO STATUTE OF LIMITATIONS FOR FRAUD ON THE COURT.
U.S. jurisdictions recognize exceptions to statutes of limitation that may allow for the prosecution of a crime or civil lawsuit even after the statute of limitations would otherwise have expired. Some states stop the clock for a suspect who is not residing within the state or is purposely hiding. Kentucky, North Carolina, and South Carolina have no statutes of limitation for felonies, while Wyoming includes misdemeanors as well. However, the right to speedy trial may derail any prosecution after many years have passed.[50]
When an officer of the court is found to have fraudulently presented facts to impair the court’s impartial performance of its legal task, the act (known as fraud upon the court) is not subject to a statute of limitation.[51][52] This mainly covers a “fraud where the court or a member is corrupted or influenced or influence is attempted or where the judge has not performed his judicial function — thus where the impartial functions of the court have been directly corrupted.”[53] In this regard, the U.S. Court of Appeals for the Third Circuit has stated the following:
In order to meet the necessarily demanding standard for proof of fraud upon the court we conclude that there must be: (1) an intentional fraud; (2) by an officer of the court; (3) which is directed at the court itself; and (4) in fact deceives the court.[52]
Officer of the court in general includes any judge, law clerk, court clerk, lawyer, investigator, probation officer, referee, legal guardian, parenting-time expeditor, mediator, evaluator, administrator, special appointee, and/or anyone else whose influence is part of the judicial mechanism.[54]“
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Statute_of_limitations#Fraud_upon_the_court
Dear Greatly Loved, Missed and Cherished Children,
You may have come to this site looking for answers as to what has happened, how and why everything occurred the way it did. The manipulations of the players in family court corruption, and their litigation therapy racket can be difficult to unravel. If you are struggling to understand it, know that your comprehension skills are not at fault, because the corrupt players designed it that way. Investigative Journalist Michael Volpe writes: “…that’s where corruption thrives – when you can make a situation complicated.” Michael Volpe’s Analysis of My Case
At the end of the day, focusing on every minute detail of the web of corruption just takes time away from living our own lives, free from their exploitation.
We go on. We must. Sure, we are battle-worn, exhausted, grieving over all that was taken, perhaps traumatized, and deeply puzzled as to how people could act this way. But the sad truth is, some people do. It’s up to us not to let the actions of others define us. We are NOT what THEY did to us. We are not to blame for the misdeeds of others, and we shouldn’t ever live that way. We should live free. We should know our own worth.
A child comes into the world in a state of innocence, and the right to this sovereignty of the self is the responsibility of adults to protect. This is our parental responsibility – to protect our children from awareness of adult problems, so they may develop age appropriately to maturity. Your mother would have given her right arm to be allowed to protect you.
Those who violate this right to an emerging consciousness are engaging in an act of extreme aggression. Erasing your parent is child abuse. And children must be protected against abuse. Any guilt over the situation lies squarely on the shoulders of all of the adults who were in charge. Do not ever take it on – it doesn’t belong to you. Throw it off of you, and live free.
You were a vulnerable child who deserved to be protected from adult hatred, adult issues, and the family court racket. You deserved better. How could a child ever be expected to stand against a group of adults?
The members of the family court racket are good at what they do, because this is how they make a living. They discovered that they didn’t have to work hard or have high standards in their professions, to make a huge pile of cash. They do this all day, every day, every chance they get, to many people. So if you’re struggling with why didn’t I see this coming, don’t. Who they are and what they do is not normal. So, no normal person could ever anticipate this. These people are expert cons hiding behind their positions. Let that go.
As a result, you may have difficulty trusting others. You may even find it hard to trust yourself. But you should trust yourself. It’s not your fault the adults let you down.
As you find your way out of this forest, know deep in your heart that you are important. You matter! You are worthy of the highest PRAISE for surviving it all, and you are very deeply loved. Be proud of your inner strength! Your great resilience! You are a survivor! “Believe in yourself. You are braver than you think, more talented than you know, and capable of more than you imagine.” ― The Light in the Heart
You should also know you’re not alone. Sadly, there are countless children who suffered like you, none of it their fault either.
So, to any kids who may be reading this: please know that your mother grieves for you every day. She loves you with the fiercely protective, tender love of a mother’s heart. A love you’ll never comprehend until you have children of your own.
She longs to hug you, and admire how you’ve grown. To hear the sound of your voice, know your thoughts, and ideas. She wants to cheer you on again! She longs to celebrate holidays with you again, and cook your favorite foods. To share jokes, and hear your laughter. To create new memories with you! Mothers are like that. We love unconditionally. We know none of this is your fault. We’ve always known!
Our kitchens and homes are empty without you. And we wait, hoping every day is the day we can reconnect with you. So please, if you are in this situation or know someone who is, tell your mother you love her. She’s prayed for this every single day.
Take that first step. It may feel awkward, but it won’t be as hard as you think. It’ll be worth it to reconnect all of your heart and soul’s missing pieces!
So, stand up, taking control of your own life, and love whoever you want to love! Life had some bitter trials, but it can be sweet again. You can live free from the hatred and conflict of others. It was never yours to begin with!
Just call her. You’ll be glad you did. Your mother is waiting with open arms.
UPDATE: Child Representative Natalie Koga, along with Judge Alfred Levinson & lawyer Elliott Heidelberger all abruptly, simultaneously gave up their lawyer & judge posts in Chicago. Meg Jackson, who Koga was caught conspiring with, changed her name to “Mary Elizabeth” & moved her law practice to Lake County, Illinois. Meanwhile, Cook County Chicago’s “Sex For Custody” lawyer David Pisulka, who controlled the lucrative secret list of Guardian ad Litems & Child Reps, has finally been arrested and stripped of his law license, after years of the IL ARDC ignoring grievances filed.
“Just hope Koga can find something else to do besides terrorizing mothers and children.” –A Chicago lawyer familiar with the case
Our beautiful life was stolen from us. An innocent child was forced to finish growing up without his Mother, while I went from the Mom expected to do everything to not allowed to even send a Birthday or Christmas card.
This gang – this cabal – worked together in a well-orchestrated plan to use the custody case to steal my inheritance, and destroy every aspect of my life to break me so I couldn’t defend myself. Meg (Now “Mary-Elizabeth”) Jackson (ex’s lawyer #6) was heard by Courth Watch outside the courtroom saying: “We’re going to take her down and take EVERYTHING from her.” This counseling letter describes damage that the legal/financial abuse caused. nadig-051915-ltrsfromcounselingcenter
I am a licensed Educator in good standing, never arrested or convicted of any crime, with no substance abuse, mental illness or any wrong-doing. At the time of this case I was employed as a Nanny and Teacher. I am still employed as a licensed teacher.
There are no DCFS findings against me. However, DCFS found that my ex-husband set up multiple false DCFS investigations. This was in the 604 and 604(b) custody evaluations by the highly respected Dr. David Finn. (604 custody evaluations are NOT chosen by either parent, the opposite of a hired gun psychologist hired by one parent.)
How did Judge Alfred Levinson allow a group of Chicago lawyers to terrorize me through a tangled web of corruption & deceit, in tandem with exploiting my family farm estate? The goal? Steal my only, irreplaceable child along with my share of our four-generation, multi-million dollar Family Farm Trust. (Though I am absolutely delighted that it provides for my child’s education anywhere he chooses.)
Their strategy? A fraudulent litigation-vortex to run me out of money for an attorney, and switch custody, in order to “convince” (read: Exploit) my elderly, ill father that I somehow “deserved it.” Elder Abuse/Financial Exploitation of this very high dollar amount is a Class 1 Felony. Elder Abuse Statute, Illinois
It’s illegal to continue filing custody motions within less than two years of a custody decision. But Judge Levinson and Natalie Koga, Child Rep didn’t care. My ex-husband filed EIGHT petitions for Custody, forcing my son and I into abusive litigation that lasted over six years, with countless harassing motions and delays so I would run out of money for representation. Many hearings were set at the last minute so I would lose income. Custody would no sooner be decided in my favor, when he would charge back into court with ever new and shifting allegations. This made it impossible to earn a living. Verbal and emotional abuse, and physical intimidation by the attorneys became customary.
Judge Levinson’s courtroom was a lawless, free-for-all. My child was forced to be constant fodder for Koga, my ex-husband’s parade of six unscrupulous attorneys and unethical court shrinks churning and charging the case. It is well-documented that Domestic Abusers with money use the legal system to punish the victim for leaving. And there is no shortage of unethical bottom-feeders harvesting victims to trap in their Litigation-Therapy Racket.
The law required Koga to promote mediation but she did the opposite because it was lucrative for her and her buddies. “The child representative shall…encourage settlement and the use of alternative forms of dispute resolution. The child representative shall not render an opinion, recommendation, or report to the court and shall not be called as a witness, but shall offer evidence-based legal arguments.” from Illinois Statute, Child Reps But she did all these things, to support my ex-husband’s hate campaign to erase me completely from my son’s life.
When my ex-husband erupted into his rages, she would step next to him to protect his image. She refused to submit bills for court review. She told blatant, horrific lies at nearly every court appearance. Koga’s anger at the evidence I brought was Judge Levinson’s cue to turn over my legal filings and evidence, saying “I didn’t have time to read it.” Judges are required by law to read all of the pleadings. Their well-rehersed schtick was disturbing.
Koga engaged in wildly inappropriate behavior by forcing my son to hug her. She interfered with his medical treatment as reported by his Doctors, and assisted in the parental alienation by disparaging me in front of my son. This was abusive and illegal.
Koga should have been discharged as Child Rep at the entry of the Divorce/Custody 
Judgment in early 2012. But at the last moment she demanded to “stay on free of charge” – her opportunity to churn and charge the case, and advocate for my ex-husband’s twisted campaign. After they finally erased me from my child’s life, suddenly she produced an enormous bill, and continued adding to it! Judge Levinson simply rubber-stamped it at the very last moment. Michael Volpe’s Analysis of My Case
“No system of care in America creates more devastation than the legal system. All but the wealthy are priced out of taking their cases to a point of closure.” Dr. Karin Huffer Legal Abuse Syndrome, Dr. Karin Huffer
There was no Evidentiary Hearing – THEY DID NOT SUBMIT ANY EVIDENCE AT ALL! A No Contact Order barked out by a completely unbalanced and unhinged Judge Levinson was quickly scrawled in a hastily convened “Emergency Hearing” that lasted no more than 15 minutes, (I received an e-mail at 4:45 pm while I was at my Nanny job, summoning me to a hearing the following morning at 9 am.) My legal rights to respond, get an attorney, present evidence, request Discovery or even speak were denied.
The means? Fraud On The Court through an outside attorney (paid for by my ex- husband-James M. Kelly of Palatine) with no legal standing to appear. He claimed to have “evidence”, which he “demonstrated” in a sleazy, theatrical, over-the-top Pantomime, but never actually entered into evidence.
Koga also read aloud one of Dr. Fisher’s false reports. There was no opportunity to cross-examine him or even view his report as required by the Rules of Evidence. When Koga finished reading it aloud, she simply stuffed it in her briefcase. Of course, once they ran me out of money for an attorney, they ignored all the laws, rules of evidence, and due process.
Dr. Fisher apparently thought he know more than the police who had already investigated. A mandated reporter, if he really believed his false report he was legally required to report me to DCFS but he did not. Why? Because DCFS would have investigated and found the allegations to be false, as they already had several times before! And, DCFS requires reunification services to parents. Dr. Daniel Fisher’s Misconduct, With Michael Volpe
Within fifteen minutes, I went from Mother, Primary Caretaker and Sole Legal Custodian, to losing most of my parental rights, not even allowed to send a Christmas or Birthday Card. This “proceeding” consisted of me standing alone, not allowed to even speak, while my ex-husband and three lawyers (including an outside attorney, James M. Kelly, hired by my ex, who had no standing to appear in the case, no appearance filed), shouted a bizarre, incoherent stream of insane insults and hearsay. That was it. No evidence proffered at all. Months later I finally got to view this “evidence” – a darkened, murky cell-phone photo that had clearly been doctored. Convicted felons have more legal rights than I did.
I believed in our American Justice System. But I’ve been contacted by many respectable, decent people from across the country who report the same cruel tactics to make huge fortunes from the pain and suffering of innocent people like my son and I, endlessly routed and re-routed through this court insiders’ criminal money-making machine. I’ve done court watch where glib attorneys handed bribes to giddy Guardian ad Litems right out in open court. They didn’t even bother trying to hide it!
Shrinks with sanctions on their licenses were brought late into the case – Koga’s strategy to override the findings of one of the most highly respected custody evaluators in the state, Dr. David Finn’s evaluation recommending custody to me, with findings of Pathological Parental Alienation, Domestic Violence and family exploitation against my ex-husband.
Judge Levinson ignored the 604 and 604b (Court-ordered Forensic Psychologist Custody Evaluations) with findings of Pathological Parental Alienation and Domestic Violence against my ex-husband. At Koga’s request, he court ordered “treatment” by Dr. Daniel P. Fisher, psychologist of Oak Brook, IL, with sanctions on his license, Dr. Daniel Fisher’s Misconduct, With Michael Volpe, and Psychiatrist, Jonathan Gamze, MD, Arlington Hts., IL, whose controlled substance license was revoked and placed on indefinite probation Dr. Jonathan Gamze Misprescribing/Overprescribing Drugs. It is illegal for treating therapists to make custody recommendations – Dual Role Misconduct – but that’s exactly what they did. And it is illegal to deny personal choice on medical providers.
Our original providers were caring, ethical and competent, and of course, had no sanctions on their license They all reported to me how she would call them up trying to get them to write false reports about me! They were eliminated because they refused to write them.
When I could no longer afford an attorney, I stood alone, mute, not allowed to present evidence, while Koga and opposing counsel #6 Meg Jackson, stood together, insulting me, lying, all the while laughing, too many times to count. This forced me to file my evidence into the court record through Affidavits. It’s all in there, but wasn’t allowed to be presented in court. They thought depriving a child of his Mother while demeaning her in public was amusing. Judge Alfred Levinson joined in taking twisted pleasure in the cruel charade.
At Koga’s request, Judge Levinson wrote numerous illegal Orders that were impossible to comply with, including for several medical providers NOT covered by insurance for a total of $2K monthly out of pocket – the textbook definition of Litigation-Therapy Racket. It was illegal to deny choice on medical providers and place such orders that were so financially burdensome they were impossible to comply with: the goal was to find me in Contempt of Court, with four failed attempts to throw me in jail. The other goal with these orders was to label me “uncooperative. However, I submitted multiple motions for relief from such orders, and freedom to choose providers covered by insurance, all denied – the textbook definition of the Litigation-Therapy racket. A modern-day Kafka novel – nothing made sense, with intertwined lawyers and mental health vendors. All the while salivating over my childhood home in Jo Daviess County, Illinois.
The best barometer of the tone and intent of this case is seen in Meg (now “Mary-Elizabeth) Jackson’s 
vicious email sent LESS THAN ONE DAY after my elderly, ill father passed away at our family farm – 150 MILES AWAY FROM JUDGE LEVINSON’S ROLLING MEADOWS, IL COURTROOM – TRYING TO BULLY ME INTO NOT ATTENDING MY FATHER’S FUNERAL! Since when do divorce lawyers have any business trying to decide who goes to private family funeral?
Meg (now “Mary-Elizabeth”) Jackson was an abusive bully whose menacing fits of rage were designed not only to intimidate me, but also to compensate for her woeful lack of knowledge of the law and court procedure. Levinson had to coach her the entire time. She yelled in court that I was a “brazen woman” for requesting family therapy COVERED BY INSURANCE, as I couldn’t afford $2,000/month medical expenses.
Yet Dr. Finn had recommended that my ex-husband be stopped from using our child to insert himself into my family! Koga fought his recommendations to protect our child and stop exploiting my family.
Two Physicians stated Koga refused to listen to their reports that my ex was abusing our son and concealed those reports from the court. This too is a crime!
And then there’s the eye-witness account of Koga’s corruption – colluding with opposing counsel #6 Meg Jackson to persuade Dr. Mark Goldstein, (my ex’s hired gun evaluator) to defame my character in his report and switch custody. Child Rep Natalie Koga Confronted With Eye-Witness To Her Corruption
The Child Rep texted and met with my ex-husband, while refusing to communicate with me. mehdipourtexts – Reza Mehdipour August Text She entered and exited the courtroom and sat next to every single one of his attorneys.
This vicious legal bullying, where the destruction of innocent people is entertaining and the truth meaningless is deeply traumatic and should never be allowed to happen to anyone. Ever. And then I understood how Chris Mackney, and so many others have been bullied to death in family court. MackNeySuicideNote
It is interesting that much of the cyberstalking & threats were used to try to manipulate me to take this website down. But I will never be silenced by bullies.
It is interesting that three key people from my case all abruptly “retired” around the same time. Judge Levinson retired a year early, around the same time as child representative, Natalie Koga (age 52), as well as Elliot Heidelberger. Levinson & Heidelberger both retired on the same day. Another attorney, Meg Jackson, was left off the ARDC lawyer registration for awhile, then came back with a different first name – “Mary Elizabeth”, and moved her practice to a different county. “When a ship is sinking, rats jump ship. So most likely, they were afraid of some inquiry by the ARDC (Attorney Registration & Disciplinary Commission, or JIB (Judicial Inquiry Board) (and for the JIB, they made sure they were there long enough to collect their government pension.) Most are not afraid of any inquiry because neither the ARDC or JIB really care about bad lawyers/judges. They only care to get rid of those who make the profession look bad – that means either public (or soon to be made public) screwups, or those making the profession look bad by exposing the corruption.” – A Chicago Attorney familiar with my case
“Just hope Natalie Koga finds something else to do, instead of terrorizing mothers and children.” –Another Chicago Attorney familiar with my case
As Mother’s Day weekend commences, many are excitedly gearing up for the holiday; cards, flowers and gifts being bought, precious gifts made at school secreted away, brunch reservations made, all is being made ready for the special day. Some of us are celebrating, while others of us are grieving. Those of us left to celebrate Mother’s Day in quiet solitude have time on our hands to reflect, and to ask probing questions.
For some, a Mother is priceless, more precious than the finest gold, emeralds or rubies, and the mere thought of assigning a dollar value to her is not only abhorrent, it is aburd. I would agree; it IS absurd that we even have to go there in the first place.
But we do. In a world where Mothers have become increasinginly expendable, disposable, where Mothering work is seen as “less than”, those of us who are, or who have been, on the Mommy-track have faced a rude awakening, and forced to ask ourselves this very question.
“In 1979, a young attorney named Michael H. Minton successfully argued that a housewife was worth more than $40,000 a year. The public snorted and the press made fun, but the ramifications proved enormous. When the dust finally settled, the 33-year-old Chicago lawyer had catapulted matrimonial law into an entirely new arena.” What’s a Wife Worth? Michael Minton
But here we are in 2019 – 40 years later – and how far have we REALLY come? When the sheer enormity of the work of Mothering, and the importance of it, is still strategically devalued by some men, along with “father’s rights” attorneys and activists, who view divorce as a game of chess to be won at all costs? When society has bought into the false notion that a woman really can, and should have it all-all the time? When “men’s rights” and “father’s rights” become feel-good euphamisms for “screw the bitch” in divorce? Realizing, recognizing and documenting, not only the importance, but also the monetary value of Mothering work becomes even more fundamental and important.
Investing in the career of Motherhood is in direct conflict with
our materialistic, superficial, money driven society. How many of us have heard a stay-at-home Mom say “I’m just a Mom”. Somehow, we’ve been sold this notion that being a Mom is not for “smart women, educated or high-value women.”
What Wife and Mother, giving her all for years, suddenly confronts this sad reality when facing terroristic, scorched earth, winner takes all divorce tactics, as well as the Federal Fatherhood Funding driving child custody decisions, hasn’t had a cold slap to the face, and the gut-wrenching realization that their work apparently had no value all along, unbeknownst to them. But Mothers are crying out: “No! There is indeed great economic value to the work I do!” Government’s Intentional Devaluation of Motherhood
Being a Surrogate Mother (becoming impregnated with someone else’s baby, going to doctor’s appointments, time off from work, giving birth, sometimes having a C-Section, medical after-care, then releasing the infant to the paying parents) has a going rate! Yes, there are wage calculations for the work of creating a human!
The thought of assigning a dollar value to this physical, emotional, and spiritual sacrifice is shocking at best. But, here is a handy chart from one agency, West Coast Surrogacy. A summary of costs: Base Pay (Surrogacy and expenses) First-time $50,000; Experienced $60,000; Twins: ad $5,000; Triplets add $10,000; C-Section, add $3,000; compensation for lost wages-actual cost; additional medical problems-$10,000. Surrogate Mother Costs
Many of us have realized along our own divorce journey, that while Attorney Minton educated us all on the economic impact of a wife and mother’s work, that somehow we didn’t really get the message. We thought it was “progress” to pressure women to have it all, all the time, and it is “for their own good” that they now work full-time outside of the home and full-time when they come home, and if a husband “helps out” in his spare time, then it’s oh so wonderful that he “helps”. Statistics showing the distribution amongst the sexes of hours spent on home and parenting labor hasn’t really changed!
Many of us have also been confronted with the disturbing reality that women who can afford an attorney such as Michael Milton will come out of their divorce at least somewhat protected, without becoming impoverished, raked through the system, and children stolen. Sadly, we learned the old adage still holds true: you get the justice you can afford.
Especially for those doing, or having done, this immense Mothering work, we know the dedication, the exhaustion, the emotional and physical investment in a job that has no vacation days, no “off-duty” time, and that a Mother’s career typically takes a big hit. We have learned that we can spout all the feel-good rhetoric about shared or co-parenting we want, but the practical, day to day reality for most marriages, even today, is that Mothers still do the vast majority of parenting and housework.
But as is usually the case, if Mom has been the one expected to always take a day off for a sick child, has been the backbone of the house, while father focuses on building his career, and suddenly father and his divorce attorneys demand shared parenting, and in too many instances, erase Mom altogether, any thinking, rational person would question whether those motives arose from a sudden, personal epiphany on the importance of assuming a fair-share of parenting work (of course, after they built their career while their wife took up the slack), or is it something more calculated and self-serving.
But even with all of this ugliness, the dismissive attitude towards Mothers, and the fact that when a father fights for sole custody he wins 70% of the time, even in cases of well documented abuse, I still believe in Motherhood. I still believe in the great importance and the immense value of this career. If I were confronted with the same choice again, it wouldn’t change. I would still choose this exasperating, exhausting, undervalued, demanding, joyful, life-changing, unpaid career. I would still choose Motherhood.
So, on this Mother’s Day, to the Mothers out there falling asleep with your newborn on your chest with the deepest joy, I acknowledge you. To the Mother watching her child walk for the first time, I acknowledge you. To the Mothers out there with the flu while caring for the family, I acknowledge you. To the Mothers out there who think they’ll never get it right, I acknowledge you. To the Mothers out there working inside and outside the home, I acknowledge you. To the Mothers out there caring for children and aging parents at the same time, I acknowledge you. To the Mothers out there choosing to work inside the home, I acknowledge you. To the Mothers out there who have lost their children to death, I acknowledge you. To the Mothers out there who have lost their children to Domestic Violence by Proxy and Court Corruption, I acknowledge you. To all Mothers out there, I acknowledge you.
To the children out there celebrating with your Mother this Mother’s Day, I acknowledge you. To the children who have lost their Mothers to death, I acknowledge you. To the children living long distances from their Mothers, I acknowledge you. To the children out there separated from Mom at the border, I acknowledge you. To the children out there missing a Mom erased by family court, I acknowedge you. To the children out there wishing their Mother could have been better, I acknowledge you. To the children out there just beginning to appreciate your own Mother after having children of your own, I acknowledge you. To the children out there making their joyful school gift, I acknowledge you. To all children out there, I acknowledge you.
Family Court injustices are rampant, causing thousands of family members separation at the holidays. But these bonds cannot be permanently severed. Have faith and stay strong. Sending much love to you all.
Child Rep Natalie Koga Confronted With Eye-Witness To Her Corruption
Part 1
For decades, protective mothers have been complaining that family courts are tilted to favor abusive fathers and that they face corruption. Court officials have tended to respond defensively and dismissed the domestic violence victims as disgruntled litigants. Over the years an ever growing collection of research, media investigations and preventable tragedies have supported the mothers’ position, but in a form of confirmation bias, court officials have ignored inconvenient findings.
In my first book with Mo Hannah, Sharon K. Araji and Rebecca L. Bosek wrote an interesting chapter in which they looked at surveys of protective mothers in five states which showed consistent court failures to protect children. It might be easy to dismiss the research because mothers with bad outcomes might be biased, but the authors compared the mother’s complaints with credible research and found the findings supported the mothers. The courts were routinely treating the mothers as if they were not credible but the scientific findings supported other research that found protective mothers rarely make deliberate false complaints.
The ACE (Adverse Childhood Experiences) Studies from the CDC demonstrated that domestic violence and child abuse are far more harmful than previously understood and that physical abuse is not required to ruin children’s lives. In other words the courts have been minimizing the seriousness of DV and child abuse and basically ignoring non-physical tactics. Despite the research, courts are still not focused on reducing the fear and stress from abuser tactics that cause children so much harm. And most of the standard court practices undermine the needed healing.
The Saunders’ Study was designed to consider the knowledge and training about domestic violence possessed by evaluators, judges and lawyers. The Study found many of these professionals do not have the specific knowledge necessary to respond to domestic violence. Those without the needed training tend to focus on the myth that mothers frequently make deliberate false reports and unscientific alienation theories. These mistakes lead to outcomes that harm children. Five years after the release of the Saunders’ Study these mistaken assumptions continue to predominate. Saunders also looked at harmful outcome cases in which alleged abusers win custody and safe, protective mothers are limited to supervised visitation. These decisions are always wrong and based on flawed practices but remain common in the family courts.
“What happens to grown children of a narcissist father during and after divorce?
This is important to consider because after you’ve left the Narcissist far behind and relieved yourself of the pain, your children continue to deal with him. It’s not a pretty picture. As the healthy parent, understanding the Narcissist, knowing what to expect and providing tips for the children will lessen the pain for everyone….
During a divorce, co-parenting with a narcissist can be dangerous. They will go to great lengths to possess the children. They will fabricate or distort the truth in order to maintain allegiance from their children. Deep down a Narc is highly insecure. Parenting after divorce becomes a popularity contest for the Narc. They have to ‘win’ the children at all costs. Their ego is vulnerable and causes them to lash out at the person who has rejected their idealistic view of themselves.
If you have asked for the divorce you can bet their wrath will be focused on you. So what begins as a type of possession can escalate into a destructive pattern of parental alienation. It is fair to say, a Narc parent is more likely than a regular parent, to use parental alienation as a method to retaliate. What begins as possessive and nonstop attention from the father inevitably turns to rejection as the children enter adulthood.”
The Narcissistic Father During and After Divorce, by Lisa Thomson
By Patricia Mitchell
Rich, poor, middle class – no child in America is safe. These words of award-winning investigative journalist Keith Harmon Snow (author of The Worst Interests of the Child) refer to the abusive practices that regularly occur within the Family Courts and Child Protective Services (CPS) Courts. On their watch, each year hundreds of thousands of children suffer from abuse (including rape and prolonged torture) that would not have happened without this court system’s initial invasion and subsequent entrapment.
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