“Because of the combination of control and entitlement, narcissists actually believe it is your duty to obey them. This explains why they can be so easily agitated by your distinctive choices. Dr. Les Carter poses the question: What if you decided to disobey the narcissist? What would that look like? Contrary to what the narcissist thinks, you are under no obligation to lay down your unique initiatives.” https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3lwtDXYbrdg
Sign up for Dr. Carter’s course Free to Be HERE: https://survivingnarcissism.tv/go/fre… Use the following coupon code to get 20% off Free To Be: FTBYouTube20 Dr. Carter’s new course: This Is Me: Setting Boundaries With The Controllers In Your Life: https://survivingnarcissism.tv/this-i… Join our Community HERE: https://survivingnarcissism.tv/subscr… Dr. Les Carter is a best selling author and therapist who has semi-retired to Waco, Tx. In the past 40+ years he has conducted more than 65,000 counseling sessions and many workshops and seminars. He specializes in anger management and narcissistic personality disorder. If you are interested in online therapy, Dr. Carter has a sponsor who can assist. As the need is there, please seek the help you deserve: https://betterhelp.com/drcarter
“If you can wait & not be tired by waiting, Or, being lied about, don’t deal in lies, Or, being hated, don’t give way to hating…” from “If” by Rudyard Kipling
It’s devastating to be forced into the role of someone’s scapegoat; to be used against your will as a toxic waste dump for the sins, shame, and “secrets” of others, a soul crushing, life-altering role nobody would ever sign up for. Yet, this is precisely how the Scapegoaters & Gaslighters want their target to feel.
It’s being confronted with the worst possible violations of social norms, morals, and ethical behavior. It’s looking that horrible behavior straight in the eye, and vowing never to treat anyone else that way.They teach ushow not to be.
And then it slowly dawns on you that out in the “real world”, everyone else has seen through their crazy, shared delusions all along! That to everyone else, these people really “aren’t all that” like they think they are. Otherwise, why would they have to work so hard to convince you in the first place?
You slowly emerge from their darkness, and build relationships where you never have to worry about when the other shoe will drop, and you can feel anchored and secure. You form friendships with those who would never think of bullying you or playing mind games, because they don’t need to. People who enjoy lifting you up, who give and receive love with no hidden agenda.
It’s becoming someone who survived a holocaust you weren’t meant to survive. The perpetrators certainly didn’t expect you to, but somehow you did.
And with the knowledge that you really can survive anything – even people trying to bully you to death through family court – you realize you’ve become someone who’s not afraid of any challenge life can throw your way, because deep inside you know you’ve already survived the very worst abuse anyone could possibly dole out
And then you finally see that this is The Gift you’ve been given – the knowledge of your own personal power in the face of sheer, unadulterated evil – andyou’re grateful for it.
“Although the strengths of the narcissist family scapegoat make her a target, they are also her salvation. Her ability to see and question along with her desire for justice enable her to escape the family tyranny while others cannot. And her capacity for empathy, so unlike that of the grandiose and compassionless narcissist, gives her the ability to form healthy and fulfilling relationships beyond her family of origin. The scapegoat’s redemption is breaking free.”https://www.huffpost.com/entry/the-strength-of-the-scapegoat-in-the-narcissist-family_b_58b27448e4b0658fc20f9678