“It’s my opinion that given that these colleges were in the position where they had to answer our lawsuit within the next week or two, the governor issued this modified executive order to try to render this lawsuit moot. There’s no facts and science to support any of what he just did, it’s a way to get these colleges out of the hotbox in where they were going to have to answer this lawsuit,” DaVore said. “To that extent I’m pleased that my clients and the rest of the kids in college as well as the educators are no longer under this vaccination or test policy, I’m grateful for that, but it’s sad it took another lawsuit to accomplish that.” – Tom DeVore
Center Square – “Students and staff at universities and community colleges no longer have to prove they’re vaccinated or test for COVID-19 under modified orders from Gov. J.B. Pritzker. The attorney who sued over the mandates is claiming victory…”
Open in browserThe Truth about the Custody Case Getting International Media Attention Mom Raped as Teen Loses Custody to Rapist; Daughter Reports He Raped Her Too Women’s Coalition Jun 19 Crysta and daughter; Judge Jeffrey Cashe International MSM [MainStream Media] is reporting a Louisiana mother’s case as “shocking”, “baffling”, and “confounding”, with expressions like “How could this possibly happen?” They are portraying as bizarre a judge giving a rapist father custody when it happens all the time in family courts around the world. The only shocking thing about Crysta’s case—to those of us who know Family Court—is that the judge got caught enabling the sexually assaultive father. MSM is typically loathe to place blame on judges in custody-cases-gone-wrong and look for other scapegoats. Many are focusing on law enforcement’s failings in Crysta’s case.[To take part in activism on this case, see below.]
CRYSTA’S STORY In 2005, when Crysta was 16, she was raped by a 30 year-old man. That is automatically statutory rape, no judge or jury needed to establish that fact. But Crysta was afraid to report it as a teen and instead allowed people to believe a boyfriend had gotten her pregnant. Six years later, in 2011, the rapist found out he was the biological father of the girl and filed for custody. Crysta’s attorney never informed her she could file charges against the father just assumed it was too late. She was led to believe she had no choice but to allow the rapist into her daughter’s life. The rapist was granted shared custody, despite the undeniable, mathematical fact he had raped Crysta, which could not have escaped the judge’s notice. A few years later, the rapist was ordered to pay child support. Not long after, he filed for 50/50 parenting time in an apparent effort to reduce his child support and perhaps to gain more control. It worked.Judge Jeffrey Cashe granted the rapist’s request for 50/50 and ordered Crysta to make child support payments to him. Later, when she fell behind, her rapist filed a motion to put her in contempt, which Cashe granted. In 2015, Crysta’s trauma counselor informed her it was not too late to file criminal charges against her rapist. So she reported the rape to the local Sheriff, who proceeded to bury it. This fits the pattern of law enforcement aiding and abetting Family Court in covering up sexual abuse by fathers.
THE COVER UP Although the cover up of Crysta’s statutory rape began in 2015 after she reported it to law enforcement, the cover up of her daughter’s abuse began in earnest earlier this year, according to court documents. On February 23rd, Crysta’s then 15 year-old daughter returned from a visit with her father and told her mother he had sexually assaulted her the previous two nights. Crysta took her to the hospital, where they medical evidence of sexual assault was documented. She was interviewed at a Children’s Advocacy Center; criminal charges against the father pended blood and testing results. The next day, Crysta filed for a Restraining Order [RO] with a supporting declaration asserting her daughter had disclosed her father had physically and verbally abused her and threatened to kill her, as well as having sexually assaulted her more than once. Apparently a temporary RO was granted. But on March 21st, the father filed an ex parte (meaning no hearing was held) motion requesting sole custody on the grounds that Crysta had given her daughter a cell phone (which Crysta denies). The ongoing phone issue appears to have been an effort by the father to monitor communications. At the ex parte, Judge Cashe ignored the reports by the daughter that the rapist had physically and verbally abused and sexually assaulted her. He granted sole custody to the rapist and restricted Crysta to supervised visits. That is the primary way judges enable paternal sexual assault and cover it up. A common tactic is to give fathers sole custody “temporarily” at an ex parte hearing pending a trial, as Cashe did. The trial is then continued and delayed until the children have been at the abusive father’s so long they are either sufficiently threatened or Stockholmed into saying they want to live with the father. Or the judge rules it’s in their best interest to keep them there after all that time.Judges often order supervised visitation where mothers and children are monitored by a supervisor to make sure they do not talk about the father’s abuse, as Cashe did. They are told they cannot talk about abuse or they will not be able to see each other again. A long-time supervisor says the majority of supervised visitations are not to protect children from abusive fathers, but to silence mothers and children who have reported abuse by the father. I feel like I’m the victim in the situation and I’m being treated and harassed like I’m the criminal.
JUDGE JEFFREY CASHE Judge Cashe had sealed the records, another common tactic in service of the cover up of paternal abuse. It was only when the media pressured him that he unsealed them Wednesday evening, which exposed the cover ups of both the mother’s and daughter’s assaults.
This is not the first time Judge Cashe has given an abusive father full custody. After losing custody to the abuser, a mother filed a complaint with the Judiciary Commission of Louisiana, a citizen of the United states I have the right to a fair trial and due process. I’m a mother trying to protect her 7 year old son and his best interest. Judge Cashe knew exactly what he was doing when he gave the rapist father sole custody, but it is important for the public to understand that he is not an outlier. Most judges uphold the age-old, patriarchal prerogative to sexually access one’s children, in order to maintain their status and privilege within the Old Boy Network. Everyone in Family Court, including Crysta’s own attorneys, went along with Judge Cashe in keeping the father empowered and entitled. It was only when she found advocate Stacie Tiche that things began to turn around.Stacie Tiche, Crysta’s advocate(left); Crysta (right)[The father] should have never been given any rights to the child at all.Stacie Tiche, Crysta’s advocateSTATUS OF TWO CASESThe Sheriff has issued a video statement admitting his deputy “screwed up” the investigation of Crysta’s statutory rape case. He appears to have been made the fall guy for the whole mess, taking focus off Judge Cashe. He’s now sent that case to the District Attorney for investigation, with no mention of investigating the daughter’s reports of sexual assaults.The DA doesn’t have any choice but to charge for Crysta’s staturory rape, but there will likely be a sweet plea deal. There has been no word on the DA charging in the daughter’s reports of at least two sexual assaults. The rape kit appears to have either disappeared, was not tested, or the results buried.DA’s almost always go along with the Family Court cover up of paternal sexual assault—at least with middle to upper middle class white men—as that is part of the overall multi-systemic entitling of men in their family. But with all the media attention, the DA may actually do the right thing and charge Crysta’s daughter’s identified rapist.I just want my daughter home safe and my perpetrator out of our lives for good. My quality of life has suffered tremendously and [this custody case] has bankrupted me.While much media focus is on the criminal case, Judge Cashe said there is not enough evidence of the daughter’s abuse, before even having a hearing on it. There is a hearing on custody in July.First of all, it is illegal to give a child who is a result of a rape to the rapist, so it is not just the teen’s reports of sexual assaults that are at issue. If the teen is saying her father raped her and there is medical evidence corroborating it confirms it, to say there is not enough evidence is just wrong. Only preponderance is necessary in a custody case. This shows the problem is that judges can rule however they want, regardless of the evidence.There is no need for yet another custody hearing. The permanent RO should have been granted to Crysta and can be granted immediately. Since it was illegal for Crysta’s daughter to have been given to her rapist in the first place, an immediate reversal of custody judgment should be ordered.But, even with all the international outrage, Judge Cashe is still forcing Crysta’s daughter, who is now said to be 16, to stay living full time with the rapist, who is likely continuing to abuse and threaten to kill her, all the while being kept away from her loving mother.It is a widespread mistaken belief that when children turn 12, they can live with the parent they choose. Not so. In practice, the father can keep children against their will until they are 18.“SOMETHING MORE GOING ON”It seems like they are protecting him, like there’s something more going on that I don’t know about.Most mothers, like Crysta, who have had the misfortune to find themselves in Family Court, think there must be “something more going on”. It just doesn’t make sense that a judge would ignore substantial evidence of a father’s abuse and switch custody to him.What women don’t realize is that their case is rigged before they even set foot in the courtroom. They don’t realize Family Court is designed to perpetuate male entitlement in the family, especially the fathers’ rights to sexually and otherwise exploit their children.They do not realize they are sheep to the slaughteruntil it’s too late and they have lost custody of their precious children. And there is nothing they can do about it because the judge has all the power.The Women’s Coalition exists in large part to warn women of this sad state of affairs: that there is no way to keep or protect our children in Family Court, and that we must demand an entirely new system that actually provides due process and equal protection in contested custody cases.ACTIVISMCAMPAIGN TO CASHEIf you’d like to give Judge Jeffrey Cashe a piece of your mind:Call: (225) 686-7461 [voicemail: first press 1; then press 8 for Judge Cashe]Email:firstname.lastname@example.orgExample:Judge Cashe, I am with The Women’s Coalition and we are disgusted that you took Crysta’s daugher away from her and gave custody to her rapist. You said there is not enough evidence of the sexual assalut of her daughter when there is physical evidence. You need to protect her immediately and allow her to live with her mother. Thank you.ALERT THE MEDIAAlert your local/national media to the truth about Crysta’s case and ask them to do a story on the thousands of mothers who’ve lost custody to an abusive ex/father. Be sure and let them know it is systemic male entitlement/discrimination against women that is causing the Custody Crisis as documented by The Women’s Coalition.You can refer them to these other current cases for examples: Lacie, Sarah Marie, Rosario, and Elizabeth.You can link to this article and to the Coalition website for more information.SEXUAL ABUSE CASESThe Women’s Coalition is documenting custody cases that involve sexual abuse to support our contention that judges are deliberately disregarding evidence of abuse and enabling fathers.If you reported sexual abuse of your child in Family Court, please take a minute to fill out this form. You may do this anonymously.
Judge Grischow ruled not only in favor of the TRO for the named plaintiffs, but also included broad and concise language specifically instructing all school districts that the Governor’s Covid-19 Mandates were illegal.Copy of the Ruling:
Attorney Tom Devore, who filed the suits, stated on Sunday, February 6: “Since 5:00 P.M. on Friday evening until this evening, we have had over 150 and pushing 200 school districts go mask optional in the State of Illinois. Guess what? That is hundreds of thousands of children. That is no fringe minority. That’s more districts than are in the lawsuit. That is a powerhouse. There is no Court order which directly authorized district wide policies and your districts knew that. Your districts made these choices today on their own volition, executive order be damned. This shows you what the local school districts across this state think of his authoritarian rule. The districts just needed a little encouragement. At this point there is no reason whatsoever for them to go back to mask required policies for any reason whatsoever, regardless of whether there is a TRO or not. NEVER!! It doesn’t matter. The TRO gave that burst of momentum needed to put an end to this madness. ISBE can’t make these districts comply with any of this stuff and they can defend themselves just like many districts are doing by taking ISBE to task. I will say it again, in that any district who made the choice in the last two days to go district wide mask optional, do not ever return. Absent some unwaivable conflict, I will represent any these districts across the whole state against ISBE should they try and come after them. I won’t charge them a penny. At a minimum, give me a call and I will tell you how to beat ISBE.“
No part of the following article may be reproduced or copied without the express permission of the author, Lisa Nadig. Ms. Nadig is a graduate of Stockton High School and DePaul University. The above photo is from the Stockton Public Schools Radiothon, Fall 2021. Pictured is Superintendent James Bunting (Center) holding the microphone, without his mask.All photos have been previously published on the world wide web, the school’s social media sites, throughout the news media, and republished according to fair use laws.
Back To School With Stockton’s Very Own “Science Guy”, 45 year Stockton Science Teacher, Mr. Gary Underwood, by Lisa Nadig
September 23, 2021, Stockton School Board Meeting, Stockton, IL: It’s time we all took a refresher course, a review of lessons learned in Science Class. Here to help us is 45 year Stockton High School Science Teacher, Mr. Gary Underwood.
Mr. Underwood very graciously accepted my invitation to address the Stockton School Board meeting. He began by clearing up the definition of the word Science: “Science is the search for truth. But now, this isn’t Science, it’s Political Science. ” Mr. Underwood then gave a brief review on Viruses. He asked us: “Have any of you ever seen a virus?” When nobody responded that they had, he said: “You need an electron microscope to see a virus.” Before Mr. Underwood concluded his refresher course on Science and Viruses, he looked around the gymnasium and said: “There isn’t a single mask in this entire place that could stop a virus.”
I would like to thank Mr. Underwood for our sorely needed science refresher course. It seems to me that “Science” is a word that’s become a political weapon, that it means whatever drives a certain financial or political agenda.
I’m also grateful to hear that Mr. Underwood is not afraid of viruses to the point he would sit home in fear and isolation, or endorse reliance on a thin piece of cloth to feel “Safe”. Nor is Mr. Underwood hypocritical or willing to misuse his position of power and influence to force children to do something he himself is not really willing to do.
But our school board is regularly observed parading around our community without their masks on – defying the governor’s mandate to wear masks in these public places. They freely waltz into school events, stores, restaurants and bars all over town on a daily basis, without the masks they gladly force our babies to wear all day, AND in open defiance of the governor’s mandate for masks in all public places.
But let’s go back to that word “Safe”. Wow! Now that’s another word misused to create fear. How many times do you hear “Stay safe!” If I hear someone tell me “Stay safe” when I go to a public place, I know they too are living the lie, and pretending that living in fear – while traumatizing our children – is somehow a really grand, and noble thing.
But if the Stockton School Board really believed their own lies – that the mask is keeping everyone safe – including them – they’d never take it off in public, would they. And if they really believed in the governor’s mandate to wear masks in all public places, they wouldn’t openly defy it out in front of us every day.
Franklin Delano Roosevelt once said: “The only thing we have to fear is fear itself.” That’s as true today as it was when our country faced the Great Depression, and World War II.
But the thing I fear isn’t a virus that the vast majority of people fully recover from. And the Stockton School Board has proven they don’t really fear it either, by their own actions out in the community every day – they just PRETEND to be afraid.
No, whatI fear most are School Board members who would dare presume to know more about Science than our Science Teacher.
I fear School Board members who are willing to throw our children’s education away just for the Covid Relief payoff – throwing the baby out with the bathwater – because they’ve lost approximately 10-15 children to homeschooling already – at approximately $16K per child! So, on the low end of 10 children at $16k per child, for 12 years, is $1.92 Million, nearly twice the $1.12 Million in Covid Relief funding received for this school year.
Our school enrollment has already been rapidly dwindling for years, to the point that not too long ago, there was a push to consolidate with the Warren schools. High School enrollment is already down approximately 50% over the last few decades. Can we really afford to continue to lose students?This is certainly very poor long-term planning.
I fear School Board members who are so threatened by anyone who disagrees that they attempt to deprive them of their First Amendment rights through intimidation, and smear campaigns.Who illegally attempt to silence dissent by harassing, bullying and openly mocking the public for peacefully exercising their right to speak at Open Meetings – in violation of the Open Meetings Act.
I fear School Board members who force kids to do what they themselves won’t do, just so they can look “politically correct”, while they do “virtue signaling performance art” for each other, but at the same time, demonstrating publicly that these were really just sham performances.
I fear school board members who’ve forgotten their duty to serve the public with respect, grace, dignity and diligence. I fear school board members who seem blissfully unaware of the momentous task ahead of them in repairing the public’s trust and goodwill.
I fear Big Pharma CEO’s beholden to shareholders profits, driving medical treatment decisions for patients instead of Doctors. I fear the exploitation of our precious children, by turning them into mere commodities for a political and financial agenda. I fear the physical and emotional abuse of our children – forced to wear an absolutely disgustingly filthy cloth on their faces all day. I fear turning our precious children into sacrificial cash cows.
I fear notoriously corrupt Illinois politics – ranked among the worst in the country – compromising our children’s education and futures. I fear the political posturing, Big Pharma corruption, propaganda campaigns & corruption at the federal, state and local levels, cherry-picking evidence, lying, bullying, tyrannical overreach, law breaking, violations of our Constitutional rights, vicious, baseless smear campaigns, and witch hunts by those with ulterior financial and political motives.
“Join us this evening as Marti & Coz review the recent Summit. Intentional Interference, distorted sound and other production issues….But we made it!! The response was huge in spite of the interference. Of course Coz will deliver the “Hog Report”. This has become the most popular segment of our shows! We can all identify with the Glory Hogs! If it wasn’t for them…..yes. Of Course. If it wasn’t for them we would most likely have made better headway with these issues of guardianship/conservatorship. We will also take a look at the recent bills that have surfaced since the Britany Spears case. More useless, fluff and buff bills to make you think they are actually trying to put an end to this system of human trafficking for profit.Lots to talk about! Please join us and call in if you have a question or comment. 917-388-4520 and hit #1 to flag us and let us know you would like to speak.”https://www.blogtalkradio.com/…/ts-radio-network-summit…
Publicity is justly commended as a remedy for social and industrial diseases. Sunlight is said to be the best of disinfectants; electric light the most efficient policeman. From Other People’s Money, Chapter V, by Louis Brandeis
“Brandeis made his famous statement that “sunlight is said to be the best of disinfectants” in a 1913 Harper’s Weekly article, entitled “What Publicity Can Do.” But it was an image that had been in his mind for decades. Twenty years earlier, in a letter to his fiance, Brandeis had expressed an interest in writing a “a sort of companion piece” to his influential article on “The Right to Privacy,” but this time he would focus on “The Duty of Publicity.” He had been thinking, he wrote, “about the wickedness of people shielding wrongdoers & passing them off (or at least allowing them to pass themselves off) as honest men.” He then proposed a remedy: If the broad light of day could be let in upon men’s actions, it would purify them as the sun disinfects.” Sunlight Foundation Intern, Andrew Berger. The Sunlight Foundation is a national, nonpartisan nonprofit organization that advocates for open government. https://sunlightfoundation.com/2009/05/26/brandeis-and-the-history-of-transparency/
We certainly could use some sunlight, transparency and disinfectant in our nation’s court system! So much of our court corruption could be addressed if there were uniform laws requiring cameras in the courtrooms, allowing litigants to use videotaped transcripts. This would eliminate the extortion of litigants by forcing them to spend tens of thousands of dollars on stenographers. Allowing litigants the use of independent video would eliminate the common practice of corrupt courts altering transcripts. We need cameras! We need sunlight and disinfectant in our courts!
I was forced to look directly into the face of evil, and I saw evil looking back at me. But I learned that telling the truth really does set you free – It might even save your life.
Seven years ago, on my birthday in 2014, I had no idea that my simple, anonymous blog post about a birthday cut off from my only child due to court licensed abuse, would morph into a website with the power to force the rich and powerful corrupt players in my Chicago family court case to resign. I only knew in my heart that day, celebrating my birthday alone, that I must express the inexpressible, because it was killing me. So, without any training as a writer, journalist, activist or web designer, I wrote my first article, Birthday Reflections, and published it here anonymously, on July 5, 2014.
But when the post exposing corrupt Child Representative Natalie Koga went viral, I began receiving anonymous threats to take this website down. Little did I know at the time that they were all facing investigation due to this exposure. But I will never be silenced by such bullies, and I have never accepted any payment for this website – a labor of love for fellow survivors.
Abusers know the best way to break a woman is by taking her Child. When an abusive man files for Sole Custody he gets it 70% of the time.
What began as a simple blog, developed into a comprehensive website. I’ve been contacted by people from all over the United States, and Europe, sharing similar stories, and thanking me for this site.
This site is searchable, organized under Categories and Tags. There are static “Pages” across the top, and Blog posts running down the right side.
It covers domestic abuse, legal abuse/court stalking, court corruption, Kids for Cash scams, the litigation-therapy racket, the billions of dollars in federal money for abusive fathers through the Federal Fatherhood Initiative driving these cases, the need for oversight/accountability for judges, lawyers, and court vendors, and cameras in the courtroom. Also included is information on Conservatorship and Guardianship abuse because Family Court crimes are frequently a gateway to Probate crimes.
It has comprehensive information on healing from trauma and corruption, including countless articles written by top experts, including Michael Volpe, Barry Goldstein, Tina Swithin, Doreen Ludwig, Sam Vaknin, Kim Saeed, and many others.
It also includes my own articles on healing, documenting the corruption in my own case, and others across the country. I’ve included case law, legal statutes, and lawsuits filed against corrupt officials, and abusive parents. There are Resources pages with hundreds of hours of researching and compiling valuable resources in one place.
Though when I started writing in 2014 this site was completely anonymous, my ex-husband and his vicious lawyers immediately began hauling me into court over it. Apparently, they didn’t want me to have a voice.
As my ex’s lawyer #6 abused, and harassed me on the witness stand, to my amazement, the corrupt judge was visibly moved by my writings. For a moment frozen in time forever etched in my memory, I saw a flicker of humanity, a flash of recognition that it was wrong. I saw the person he once was as a young man, or might have become, before he fell in line, “going along to get along” in the Cook County family court racket. Visibly shaken, he quietly excused me from testifying, and hurriedly dismissed their petition for sanctions against me.
But they kept hauling me into court to answer countless harassing motions, including four attempts to throw me in jail – all alone – because there had been so much legal/financial abuse that they ran me out of money for a lawyer.
It’s been a very long, tough journey, these past seven years. I’ve discovered things about corruption in our courts, and our government, that quite frankly, sometimes I wish I didn’t know. Dark, disturbing, ugly things that make it difficult for me to celebrate July Fourth or other patriotic holidays.
I’m grateful to the wonderful friends and mentors I’ve met along this journey. I’m inspired daily by their courage, and dedication to helping innocent people used by corrupt court officials and vendors in their pursuit of easy wealth without work – their Kids For Cash scams.
I’m profoundly grateful to the countless court victims – parents and children – who’ve stepped forward, trusting me with their stories.
The truth really does set you free – Veritas liberabit.
I’ve learned that I could survive the un-survivable – a gang – a cabal really – that tried with all their might to bully me to death through family court. I survived their threats, and stalking – both in and out of court – while being forcibly stripped of my humanity, to be used as a commodity in their scams. And I’ve learned to never stop speaking the truth, for it has the power to set you free. It might even save your life.
Here is a copy of Ms. Hadzi-Tanovic’s Federal Complaint against ex-husband Slabodan Pavlovich, Associate Judge Robert W. Johnson, and former powerful attorney David Pasulka, who acted as the Guardian ad Litem on the Case. Pasulka also formerly headed a secret list of lawyers chosen for the highly lucrative appointments as GAL’s & Child Reps in Cook County Chicago. Recently, the IL ARDC finally acted to disbar Pasulka, after many years of ignored complaints. True to the pattern of bad judges and lawyers protecting one another through the IL ARDC, Judicial Inquiry Board, and the head judge offices, they only acted after significant publicity. Sadly, bad judges and lawyers continue causing serious harm to children and families on a routine basis, only facing consequences once the negative publicity finally becomes too great to ignore. In this case, the IL ARDC finally acted against Pasulka only after attorney Lawrence Thompson’s open letter calling for the resignations of Cook County’s head judges Tim Evans and Grace Dickler, for allowing Paulka to remain in power, was aired on CBS Channel 2 News. https://songsunsilenced.wordpress.com/2021/03/23/attorney-claims-top-chicago-judges-enabled-embattled-lawyer-david-pasulka-to-have-unchecked-power-in-selecting-family-lawyers/
“Aneta Hadzi-Tanovic, leader of the local Illinois Women’s Coalition, has filed an $8 million federal lawsuit against Family Court judge Robert Wade Johnson, the GAL, and her ex for conspiring to deprive her under the color of law of her right to due process and equal protection, as well as for the intentional torts “abuse of process” and “intentional infliction of emotional distress”.
Aneta’s custody nightmare mirrors women’s cases all over the country and world in which Family Court judges disregard substantial negative evidence about the father, and fabricate negative evidence about the mother, in order to justify switching custody to the father.” Mom Sues Judge, GAL and Ex For $8M In U.S. Federal Court
LAWSUIT COUNTS 1. Conspiracy to deprive of due process [42 U.S.C. §1983] 2. Conspiracy to deprive of equal protection under the law [42 U.S.C. §1983] 3. Abuse of process [intentional tort] 4. Intentional infliction of emotional distress [intentional tort]
“If you can wait & not be tired by waiting, Or, being lied about, don’t deal in lies, Or, being hated, don’t give way to hating…” from “If” by Rudyard Kipling
It’s devastating to be forced into the role of someone’s scapegoat; to be used against your will as a toxic waste dump for the sins, shame, and “secrets” of others, a soul crushing, life-altering role nobody would ever sign up for. Yet, this is precisely how the Scapegoaters & Gaslighters want their target to feel.
It’s being confronted with the worst possible violations of social norms, morals, and ethical behavior. It’s looking that horrible behavior straight in the eye, and vowing never to treat anyone else that way.They teach ushow not to be.
And then it slowly dawns on you that out in the “real world”, everyone else has seen through their crazy, shared delusions all along! That to everyone else, these people really “aren’t all that” like they think they are. Otherwise, why would they have to work so hard to convince you in the first place?
You slowly emerge from their darkness, and build relationships where you never have to worry about when the other shoe will drop, and you can feel anchored and secure. You form friendships with those who would never think of bullying you or playing mind games, because they don’t need to. People who enjoy lifting you up, who give and receive love with no hidden agenda.
It’s becoming someone who survived a holocaust you weren’t meant to survive. The perpetrators certainly didn’t expect you to, but somehow you did.
And with the knowledge that you really can survive anything – even people trying to bully you to death through family court – you realize you’ve become someone who’s not afraid of any challenge life can throw your way, because deep inside you know you’ve already survived the very worst abuse anyone could possibly dole out
And then you finally see that this is The Gift you’ve been given – the knowledge of your own personal power in the face of sheer, unadulterated evil – andyou’re grateful for it.
“Although the strengths of the narcissist family scapegoat make her a target, they are also her salvation. Her ability to see and question along with her desire for justice enable her to escape the family tyranny while others cannot. And her capacity for empathy, so unlike that of the grandiose and compassionless narcissist, gives her the ability to form healthy and fulfilling relationships beyond her family of origin. The scapegoat’s redemption is breaking free.”https://www.huffpost.com/entry/the-strength-of-the-scapegoat-in-the-narcissist-family_b_58b27448e4b0658fc20f9678