Category Archives: Narcicisstic Abuse

The Truth about the Custody Case Getting International Media Attention, The Women’s Coalition


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The Truth about the Custody Case Getting International Media Attention Mom Raped as Teen Loses Custody to Rapist; Daughter Reports He Raped Her Too Women’s Coalition Jun 19 Crysta and daughter; Judge Jeffrey Cashe International MSM [MainStream Media] is reporting a Louisiana mother’s case as “shocking”, “baffling”, and “confounding”, with expressions like “How could this possibly happen?” They are portraying as bizarre a judge giving a rapist father custody when it happens all the time in family courts around the world. The only shocking thing about Crysta’s case—to those of us who know Family Court—is that the judge got caught enabling the sexually assaultive father. MSM is typically loathe to place blame on judges in custody-cases-gone-wrong and look for other scapegoats. Many are focusing on law enforcement’s failings in Crysta’s case.[To take part in activism on this case, see below.]

CRYSTA’S STORY In 2005, when Crysta was 16, she was raped by a 30 year-old man. That is automatically statutory rape, no judge or jury needed to establish that fact. But Crysta was afraid to report it as a teen and instead allowed people to believe a boyfriend had gotten her pregnant. Six years later, in 2011, the rapist found out he was the biological father of the girl and filed for custody. Crysta’s attorney never informed her she could file charges against the father just assumed it was too late. She was led to believe she had no choice but to allow the rapist into her daughter’s life. The rapist was granted shared custody, despite the undeniable, mathematical fact he had raped Crysta, which could not have escaped the judge’s notice. A few years later, the rapist was ordered to pay child support. Not long after, he filed for 50/50 parenting time in an apparent effort to reduce his child support and perhaps to gain more control. It worked.Judge Jeffrey Cashe granted the rapist’s request for 50/50 and ordered Crysta to make child support payments to him. Later, when she fell behind, her rapist filed a motion to put her in contempt, which Cashe granted. In 2015, Crysta’s trauma counselor informed her it was not too late to file criminal charges against her rapist. So she reported the rape to the local Sheriff, who proceeded to bury it. This fits the pattern of law enforcement aiding and abetting Family Court in covering up sexual abuse by fathers.

THE COVER UP Although the cover up of Crysta’s statutory rape began in 2015 after she reported it to law enforcement, the cover up of her daughter’s abuse began in earnest earlier this year, according to court documents. On February 23rd, Crysta’s then 15 year-old daughter returned from a visit with her father and told her mother he had sexually assaulted her the previous two nights. Crysta took her to the hospital, where they medical evidence of sexual assault was documented. She was interviewed at a Children’s Advocacy Center; criminal charges against the father pended blood and testing results. The next day, Crysta filed for a Restraining Order [RO] with a supporting declaration asserting her daughter had disclosed her father had physically and verbally abused her and threatened to kill her, as well as having sexually assaulted her more than once. Apparently a temporary RO was granted. But on March 21st, the father filed an ex parte (meaning no hearing was held) motion requesting sole custody on the grounds that Crysta had given her daughter a cell phone (which Crysta denies). The ongoing phone issue appears to have been an effort by the father to monitor communications. At the ex parte, Judge Cashe ignored the reports by the daughter that the rapist had physically and verbally abused and sexually assaulted her.  He granted sole custody to the rapist and restricted Crysta to supervised visits.  That is the primary way judges enable paternal sexual assault and cover it up. A common tactic is to give fathers sole custody “temporarily” at an ex parte hearing pending a trial, as Cashe did. The trial is then continued and delayed until the children have been at the abusive father’s so long they are either sufficiently threatened or Stockholmed into saying they want to live with the father. Or the judge rules it’s in their best interest to keep them there after all that time.Judges often order supervised visitation where mothers and children are monitored by a supervisor to make sure they do not talk about the father’s abuse, as Cashe did. They are told they cannot talk about abuse or they will not be able to see each other again. A long-time supervisor says the majority of supervised visitations are not to protect children from abusive fathers, but to silence mothers and children who have reported abuse by the father. I feel like I’m the victim in the situation and I’m being treated and harassed like I’m the criminal.

JUDGE JEFFREY CASHE Judge Cashe had sealed the records, another common tactic in service of the cover up of paternal abuse. It was only when the media pressured him that he unsealed them Wednesday evening, which exposed the cover ups of both the mother’s and daughter’s assaults.

This is not the first time Judge Cashe has given an abusive father full custody. After losing custody to the abuser, a mother filed a complaint with the Judiciary Commission of Louisiana, a citizen of the United states I have the right to a fair trial and due process. I’m a mother trying to protect her 7 year old son and his best interest. Judge Cashe knew exactly what he was doing when he gave the rapist father sole custody, but it is important for the public to understand that he is not an outlier. Most judges uphold the age-old, patriarchal prerogative to sexually access one’s children, in order to maintain their status and privilege within the Old Boy Network. Everyone in Family Court, including Crysta’s own attorneys, went along with Judge Cashe in keeping the father empowered and entitled. It was only when she found advocate Stacie Tiche that things began to turn around.Stacie Tiche, Crysta’s advocate(left); Crysta (right)[The father] should have never been given any rights to the child at all.Stacie Tiche, Crysta’s advocateSTATUS OF TWO CASESThe Sheriff has issued a video statement admitting his deputy “screwed up” the investigation of Crysta’s statutory rape case. He appears to have been made the fall guy for the whole mess, taking focus off Judge Cashe. He’s now sent that case to the District Attorney for investigation, with no mention of investigating the daughter’s reports of sexual assaults.The DA doesn’t have any choice but to charge for Crysta’s staturory rape, but there will likely be a sweet plea deal. There has been no word on the DA charging in the daughter’s reports of at least two sexual assaults. The rape kit appears to have either disappeared, was not tested, or the results buried.DA’s almost always go along with the Family Court cover up of paternal sexual assault—at least with middle to upper middle class white men—as that is part of the overall multi-systemic entitling of men in their family. But with all the media attention, the DA may actually do the right thing and charge Crysta’s daughter’s identified rapist.I just want my daughter home safe and my perpetrator out of our lives for good. My quality of life has suffered tremendously and [this custody case] has bankrupted me.While much media focus is on the criminal case, Judge Cashe said there is not enough evidence of the daughter’s abuse, before even having a hearing on it. There is a hearing on custody in July.First of all, it is illegal to give a child who is a result of a rape to the rapist, so it is not just the teen’s reports of sexual assaults that are at issue. If the teen is saying her father raped her and there is medical evidence corroborating it confirms it, to say there is not enough evidence is just wrong. Only preponderance is necessary in a custody case. This shows the problem is that judges can rule however they want, regardless of the evidence.There is no need for yet another custody hearing. The permanent RO should have been granted to Crysta and can be granted immediately. Since it was illegal for Crysta’s daughter to have been given to her rapist in the first place, an immediate reversal of custody judgment should be ordered.But, even with all the international outrage, Judge Cashe is still forcing Crysta’s daughter, who is now said to be 16, to stay living full time with the rapist, who is likely continuing to abuse and threaten to kill her, all the while being kept away from her loving mother.It is a widespread mistaken belief that when children turn 12, they can live with the parent they choose. Not so. In practice, the father can keep children against their will until they are 18.“SOMETHING MORE GOING ON”It seems like they are protecting him, like there’s something more going on that I don’t know about.Most mothers, like Crysta, who have had the misfortune to find themselves in Family Court, think there must be “something more going on”. It just doesn’t make sense that a judge would ignore substantial evidence of a father’s abuse and switch custody to him.What women don’t realize is that their case is rigged before they even set foot in the courtroom. They don’t realize Family Court is designed to perpetuate male entitlement in the family, especially the fathers’ rights to sexually and otherwise exploit their children.They do not realize they are sheep to the slaughter until it’s too late and they have lost custody of their precious children. And there is nothing they can do about it because the judge has all the power.The Women’s Coalition exists in large part to warn women of this sad state of affairs: that there is no way to keep or protect our children in Family Court, and that we must demand an entirely new system that actually provides due process and equal protection in contested custody cases.ACTIVISMCAMPAIGN TO CASHEIf you’d like to give Judge Jeffrey Cashe a piece of your mind:Call: (225) 686-7461 [voicemail: first press 1; then press 8 for Judge Cashe]Email: lbankston@21stjdc.orgExample:Judge Cashe, I am with The Women’s Coalition and we are disgusted that you took Crysta’s daugher away from her and gave custody to her rapist. You said there is not enough evidence of the sexual assalut of her daughter when there is physical evidence. You need to protect her immediately and allow her to live with her mother. Thank you.ALERT THE MEDIAAlert your local/national media to the truth about Crysta’s case and ask them to do a story on the thousands of mothers who’ve lost custody to an abusive ex/father. Be sure and let them know it is systemic male entitlement/discrimination against women that is causing the Custody Crisis as documented by The Women’s Coalition.You can refer them to these other current cases for examples: LacieSarah MarieRosario, and Elizabeth.You can link to this article and to the Coalition website for more information.SEXUAL ABUSE CASESThe Women’s Coalition is documenting custody cases that involve sexual abuse to support our contention that judges are deliberately disregarding evidence of abuse and enabling fathers.If you reported sexual abuse of your child in Family Court, please take a minute to fill out this form. You may do this anonymously.

IN OTHER NEWS

Thanks to everyone who attended hearings, signed petitions and contacted DA’s in the cases of: LacieSarah MarieRosarioKristina and Elizabeth.

Regrettably, the Family Court judges have not returned their children yet, nor have the DA’s dismissed charges. You can still contact them to request they do.

It is good to let these child abuse enablers know we are watching and will hold them accountable come election time.


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Another great resource on childhood trauma, DV by proxy, and recovery: CarlaCorelli.com

Once, I ran from fear so fear controlled me. Until I learned to hold fear like a newborn. Listen to it, but not give in. Honour it, but not worship it. Fear could not stop me anymore. I walked with courage into the storm. I still have fear, but it does not have me.

http://www.carlacorelli.com/

9 Tips For Healing From Narcissistic Abuse

“If you’ve recently ended a toxic relationship with someone with narcissistic traits, you’re likely dealing with plenty of hurt and confusion.

Even when you know, deep down, that you weren’t to blame, believing this is often another story entirely.

Wondering what you could have done differently to prevent abuse or help your loved one address their issues can add to your emotional turmoil.

Toxic relationships also share some similarities with addiction, explains Ellen Biros, a therapist in Suwanee, Georgia, who specializes in helping people recover from abusive relationships.”

https://www.healthline.com/health/mental-health/9-tips-for-narcissistic-abuse-recovery#emotions

Covid lockdowns drive increase in domestic violence world-wide: Home is not always a haven

https://psycnet.apa.org/doiLanding?doi=10.1037%2Ftra0000866

https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/pii/S0160252720300534

https://obgyn.onlinelibrary.wiley.com/doi/abs/10.1002/ijgo.13247

Formal Complaint To UN Commission on Status of Women Denouncing US Government & States: Systematic Human Rights Violations Against Women & Children In Family Court

On Sunday, August 1, 2021, over one hundred mothers submitted a formal complaint to the United Nations Commission on the Status of Women denouncing the United States Government, and the states within for systematic human rights violations waged against women and children throughout the family court systems in the country. The Complaint alleges human rights violations that include systematic gender bias, discrimination on the basis of sex, and facilitation of physical, sexual, financial, legal, and emotional abuse of women and children.⁣⁣The Complaint was submitted by advocacy groups One Mom’s Battle and Custody Peace with over one hundred women throughout the United States joining in the Complaint.

Through personal letters submitted with the Complaint, these brave women provided firsthand accounts of their experience suffering injustices and human rights violations in family court.⁣⁣The Claim submitted to the UN documents disturbing trends throughout family courts in the U.S. including a failure to recognize coercive control tactics as domestic violence warranting court intervention, the tendency of judges to discredit mothers’ child abuse allegations particularly when the father alleges parental alienation as a counterclaim, the weaponization of the family court system itself by an abuser as a means to harass and control a domestic violence victim, punishment of women who raise child safety and abuse concerns by stripping them of custody rights, and judges’ bias towards and unfavorable treatment of women who resist shared parenting with an ex-intimate partner who abused them and/or their child, often leading to a dismissal of these women as simply angry, emotional or crazy.⁣⁣

Learn more, donate to the movement, or to join the Global Family Court Advocacy Community at www.custody-peace.org

#onemomsbattle#omb#tinaswithin#divorce#divorcinganarcissist#support#narcissisticabuse#MeTooFamilyCourt#custodypeaceCustody Peace]

MALIGNANT Narcissists: Dr. Ramani

Dr. Ramani Durvasula is an American clinical psychologist, professor of psychology, media expert, and author. This three part series explores in depth the Malignant Narcissist.

Part 1 of 3: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3J4MEQ3N03w

Part 2 of 3: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=K0iUJjxt40c

Part 3 of 3: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nWx_T6UfZiE

Healing After Narcissistic Abuse & “Unpacking” Your Core, Online Seminar w/ Dr. Ramani Durvasula, 8/14/21

Saturday, August 14, 2021, 1-4 PM CDT

When we think about narcissistic abuse, recovery is impacted by numerous processes – it’s not just about the frustrations, hurts, traumas, and emotional abuse that occurs within these relationships, but a much deeper iceberg – legacy issues, self-blame, shame, trauma bonds, and lots of dissonance. ….This workshop will provide an overview of and deep dive into these “core issues,” link these to the vulnerabilities to narcissism and high conflict personality styles, as well as how they impact healing, recovering, and getting stuck in these relationships. This workshop will also take on a sort of 5-part life map that guides you through the areas of life that are affected by narcissistic abuse, how to address these areas of your life, and consider them whether you are still in the relationship, are no longer in the relationships, or aren’t sure what to do. … I do hope you can join this workshop – there will be a brief overview of the patterns observed in narcissistic abuse survivors, dynamics inherent in these relationships, a review of family roles and risk factors for narcissistic relationships and then an introduction to the CORE model and the 5-part life map as a way of understanding some of the root issues to help you navigate, survive, recover, and hopefully avoid these relationships in the future.”

https://www.eventbrite.com/e/healing-after-narcissistic-relationships-unpacking-your-core-tickets-163951666849?fbclid=IwAR1ENajL0srjflv0cZ8Lq4OJISzav54dVsK89L8KmHD3gc5uW8WKtnl8_Yk