|Custody Crisis Rabbit Holes|
How Women Are Being Diverted, Distracted & Deceived
Women’s Coalition, Mar 6
“Custody Crisis Rabbit Holes” are quagmires women get entangled in when searching for the reason custody was taken away from them, given to their abusive or self-serving ex, and the relationship with their children damaged or destroyed. These misguided pathways are full of misrepresentations that divert mothers from understanding the true nature and cause of the crisis. They lead to wasting time fighting for ineffective solutions and, worse, misleading other women and the public on the topic. It is only when women are able to recognize this kind of misinformation that we will be able to unite under a common set of facts and fight a unified battle for an effective solution. This column is just an overview of the main rabbit holes women can get caught up in. Future columns will go into depth on each one, some more convoluted than others.
COMMON RABBIT HOLES Abuse Rabbit Hole, Parental Alienation Rabbit Hole, Profiteering Rabbit Hole, Rights & Laws Rabbit Hole
“Abuse” rabbit holers believe the problem is judges mistakenly giving kids to abusers, rather than deliberately to fathers, some of whom are abusive. Most mothers in this morass believe judges have been misled by their very own court-appointed professionals or that they suffer from unconscious biases. This misidentification leads mothers to believe new laws and more training will bring an end to the crisis. However, since judges and their lackeys actually know the father is abusive, training won’t help; and there are ways to get around child safety and domestic violence laws by falsely accusing mothers of various things.
The “Parental Alienation” rabbit hole has two camps: “alienation is not valid” and “alienation is valid”.The “not valid” camp is focused on stopping alienation from being recognized by authorities and preventing the use of the term in Family Court. This won’t make much, if any, difference since there are plenty of synonyms and similar concepts which judges can use. The “valid” camp contends alienation is a real and terrible problem for both fathers and mothers. Hence, it has been coopted by the gender neutral arm of fathers’ rights groups. This separation into two camps serves to divide mothers and obfuscate the gendered nature of the use of alienation by Family Court judges. The fact is the only epidemic is judges falsely accusing mothers of alienation in order to switch custody to fathers, and allowing fathers to alienate children after they give them custody. This fact should unify women on the alienation topic.
“Profiteering” dwellers believe that profiting by court-affiliated Family Court professionals is causing the crisis, and that is often described as a “cottage industry”. While profiting surely is rampant, it is just the reward for professionals who go along with the agenda to entitle and empower fathers. It’s just fuel on an existing fire. Reducing profiteering may make it slightly more difficult for judges to switch custody, but the crisis existed before the divorce industry took off, and it exists in countries where there is no industry to speak of.
“Rights & Laws” rabbit holers believe the problem is a lack of child safety and/or domestic violence laws, or of women’s, parent’s, or children’s rights laws. As stated above in the “Abuse” rabbit hole, laws and rights are not the problem. It is judges falsely accusing mothers of being liars, alienators, mentally ill, whatever…There are plenty of built-in ways for judges to get around laws and rights legally, and there is no way to hold judges accountable for violating the letter of the law. Since family courts are rigged, new laws have not and will not help.
MISINFORMATION & DISINFORMATION Women should not feel bad about getting caught up in a rabbit hole or two. Most go down at least one during their Family Court nightmare, because misinformation and disinformation about the custody crisis abounds. Some rabbit hole misinformation is promoted by well-intentioned activists, who themselves misconstrue the crisis. However, some is disinformation promoted by organizations that profit from portraying the crisis wrongly; or by fathers’ rights activists [FRA’s] who operate covertly as gender-neutral activists in order to deceive and divide women. The fact that so many women over the last half century have gotten diverted, distracted and deceived by these rabbit holes helps explain why there has been zero progress in ending the crisis. In fact, it seems to be getting worse. The most important thing for women to recognize when it comes to these rabbit holes is that they divert and distract from an understanding that the root cause of the Custody Crisis is systemic discrimination against women , and that is what needs to be eradicated. And in order to eliminate this universal injustice, a new system for deciding custody, which is not rigged against women, must be implemented. The Women’s Coalition is uniting women so we have the power to fight for this new system. Join us!