A Good Father Doesn’t Destroy His Child’s Mother Because In doing So He Also Destroys His Child!

NoMotherLeftBehindBe considerate as you live with your wife with respect I Peter 3:7     

Call your wife ‘blessed’ and praise her.  Proverbs 31:28-29   

Do not be harsh with your wife.  Colossians 3:19

MotherlessBoyA good father would never dream of destroying the mother of his child because in doing so, he is destroying his child.  Good fathers honor and respect her as the giver of life.   A good father understands that the children are forever connected to their mother, that she is a part of them, and would never deprive them of her.  A good father understands that he cannot provide all that the children need, and that they need her unique wisdom, and support.  A good father understands that the child’s ability to have healthy and happy relationships depends upon preserving the relationship with their mother.

Good fathers don’t slander the mother of their children.  They are too busy improving themselves and their own lives to cut someone else down, especially their child’s mother.

A good father models moral, upright behavior for the children by honoring her, expecting them to do the same.  And would never dream of encouraging the children to disrespect or demean her in any way.

Good fathers would never dream of using the children as props during a divorce, because good fathers are involved in the parenting work from the beginning.  Therefore, there’s no need to manufacture a sudden interest in the work of parenting come divorce time.  Good fathers understand that the mother’s career, education, and aspirations are just as important as his, and he values them.  Good fathers share the parenting responsibilities, and would never dream of forcing her to sacrifice her dreams at the expense of his.  Good fathers don’t use the mother of his children.

StripperFeedtA good father would never isolate a child away from his only remaining biological grandparent, aunts, uncles, cousins and lifelong family friends just because they support the child’s mother. And only allow contact with the haters, who live under the control of the family bully.  Who uses scapegoating as a diversion against her own secrets blowing up in her face.  He would never join forces with the family bully against the child’s mother, while sowing strife and discord in her family.  He would observe proper, healthy boundaries, step back, and focus on his own family of origin.  

A favourite tactic of the bully in the family is to set people against each other. The benefits to the bully are that:

a) the bully gains a great deal of gratification (a perverse form of satisfaction) from encouraging and provoking argument, quarreling and hostility, and then from watching others engage in adversarial interaction and destructive conflict, and

b) the ensuing conflict ensures that people’s attention is distracted and diverted away from the cause of the conflict

Bullies within the family, especially female bullies, are masters (mistresses?) of manipulation and are fond of manipulating people through their emotions (eg guilt) and through their beliefs, attitudes and perceptions. Bullies see any form of vulnerability as an opportunity for manipulation, and are especially prone to exploiting those who are most emotionally needy. Elderly relatives, those with infirmity, illness… are likely to be favourite targets for exploitation.

The family bully encourages and manipulates family members etc to lie, act dishonourably and dishonestly, withhold information, spread misinformation, and to punish the target for alleged infractions, ie the family members become the bully’s unwitting (and sometimes witting) instruments of harassment.

bw-puppetBullies are adept at distorting peoples’ perceptions with intent to engender a negative view of their target in the minds of family members, neighbours, friends and people in positions of officialdom and authority; this is achieved through undermining, the creation of doubts and suspicions, and the sharing of false concerns, etc. This poisoning of people’s minds is difficult to counter.  

When close to being outwitted and exposed, the bully feigns victimhood and turns the focus on themselves – this is another example of manipulating people through their emotion of guilt, eg sympathy, feeling sorry, etc. Female serial bullies are especially partial to making themselves the centre of attention by claiming to be the injured party whilst portraying their target as the villain of the piece. ”   A favourite tactic of the bullies in our family-set people against each other

MotherChildNeuroBondA good father knows that his children need their mother.  An over-sized ego and revenge for leaving him would never even enter his mind.  Good fathers honor all that she gave and sacrificed to raise and nurture the children.  He would be helpful, and supportive of her, and be so busy doing positive things in his life, he would never dream of destroying her life.  He would wish her well.

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8 thoughts on “A Good Father Doesn’t Destroy His Child’s Mother Because In doing So He Also Destroys His Child!

  1. Misty Bonnette

    My story is. I was sexually assaulted many times as a child. Incest from family,From school mates to boys that lived closed. Got jobs that led to the same behavors. The more I fought off those,and back then I had no parents to talk to or even a cell phone or remotely anyone I could trust. My mom would leave me with my aunt, my uncle must of known I’ve been messed with bc his hands sure would get close to my body. My boobs were talked about. My uncle’s would pick on me like I was a guy they were joking with. Got out of control. My brother was a bully to me as a child,always trying to find ways to drown me in the pool. Pull my pants down at the school bus stop. It was like I never had anyone to turn to. None of my family seem interested in actually helping with me. As a child I found inappropriate videos as nwas a child that my male family members had. Family learned about me, but none were there . I got sent off to a youth hospital. My family acted as they didn’t know what was wrong ,just get on pills ,you need meds but it never seem to amaze as much as I knew pills weren’t helping me cope. Sex was wrong. Here men that were 24 as I was 14 with me sexually. I had no idea what was wrong bc I knew my parents were or doing such. It got so out of control. My womb eventually beared these children, none of the men wanted to stay with me nor be married. It became so wrecklace. It was like I had a note that said use me , use my body and leave me with scars. I’m left knowing I had 6 kids whom I barely knew myself of how to survive.my mom seemed like she never could talk to me. My mom never said it was wrong, those guys are way to old. The men never wore protection. I never was taught. It left me with shame and one by one each guy took my child from me and given it to their mothers to be fulfilled. I was left having to find a new home. My mother never seemed to of wanted me around. She kicked me out then call me as a runaway so she wouldn’t get into trouble. The law never did anything to actually help. Sexual assault in the places the cops took me. Led me with the kids that I’m not even able to be a part of their lives. I have no home or even a mother for that matter. My brother never talks just sits back and downgrades me . Tries to stay close to my kid fathers so he can wait for anything left for him. All I ever did was try to stay with even tho the guys ended up using drugs while I were trying to get them to stop. Those chose me and they did but they knew I were vulnerable and did not know I was losing my mom. All still have their parents. I’m further out in life then they are and my life aged from stress and kinkiness and never having the capibilty to know what to do. Dhs wrecked my life ,cops did . And I have no supportive family or friends. Everyone usually hurts me. My kids fathers hit on me. My child does. I’ve been pushed into a abortion, I’ve miscarried. My kids got sick. I’m dying of brokeness,while still feeling homeless. After I’m used I’m not wanted much anymore. Just to pay someone else’s bills that they use up. My brother wrecked the homes of my mom’s or dad’s and was never allowed to live on their property bc he wanted to. I put a fema trailer so I could live in and he took that over also. Here I am , I never get to see my kids, they don’t talk to me. It’s like I have nothing but wreckage from them. How or what do I do. I’m insecure of how they led me in my life.

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    1. AMother'sHeartSongsUnsilenced Post author

      Dear Misty, My heart aches reading your story. I am so very sorry to hear how it’s been. There are several resources on the front page of the site. Please read the page called Resources: Child Abuse & Domestic Abuse. There are several numbers listed you can call for the help you need and deserve. https://songsunsilenced.com/resources/

      We’re praying for you. Stand strong! It’s not your fault, none of it is. You are not responsible for the horrible choices of others to be abusive, to exploit you and to just be cruel. You are not what they did to you! God bless you!

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  2. Lisa Mya

    Michael Volpe Thank you for all you have done to expose the corruption in the courts! I and many others refer this as “kids for cash”. Children are bought in court by the parent with more money and the help of co-conspirators (court appointed GAL, Child psychiatrists, ect) from the loving parent who raised them.

    This is very sad and teaches our children “anything can be bought” even human beings. Parental Abuse is thriving in our Family Court System.

    Best regards,

    Lisa May

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    1. Melanie Lindemann

      Tears from me to. My Christian family has done nothing but get caught in his manipulation traps, and cost my family lots of money. It hurts how he kept complaining he has no money, but continues to hire an attorney to keep my boys away from me, trash talk me, refuses to let me have them for Mothers Day, etc. The boys are damaged since I divorced 9 years ago. It hurts.

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  3. Pingback: Paternal Child Abuse – American Mothers of Lost Children

  4. Dianne

    The worst act of human cruelty…
    Severing the mother child bond

    And the saddest and most frustrating thing is that us moms never give up, never stop
    Fighting but not one authority will take action and indict these judges for their unlawful criminal actions.
    Our children need your help!
    Civil rights advocates where are you?
    Bar members who aren’t afraid to expose the corruption Where are you?
    Authorities.. DOJ? FBI? Stop turning your backs and saying it doesn’t exist bc you are too afraid of losing your jobs by doing the right thing.
    I’m doing my part everyday exposing and fighting. What are you doing??
    Kids for Cash needs to be brought down and until the DOJ investigates and gets evidence of all the extortion our children remain with their dangerous abusers.

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