The crime of being the poorer parent




Yes it can become quite a “crime” to make less money, way less money, than your former spouse, especially when your time is spent trying to stay out of jail because you can’t keep up with a lawyer’s bills.   It ends up going way beyond not being able to buy stuff as nice as the other parent does or driving the older car.

Because I don’t recall us ever really going without around here.  I remember homemade gifts and cakes, homemade dinners, laughter and love.  I remember all those trips to the library instead of the movie theater, garage sale-ing together instead of trips to the mall.  I remember things you can’t put a price-tag on; the gifts of togetherness, laughter, faith, reading, studying, caring for animals, gardens and friends.  I remember scholarship applications/essays and wonderful academic acceptance letters.

But more than all this material stuff, it goes to the heart of the matter in the courtroom – dealing with all of the court vendors, and especially an attorney appointed to oversee your family.  Yes, I make much less money than my ex.  Last time I checked that does not make me a bad person, a bad parent, or a criminal.  It just makes me less profitable for you and your friends.

As I sit here trying to finish a hand-knitted scarf in time for the big day, waiting for permission to give this lowly gift at the office of a court vendor who violated ethics rules in our case and others, I’m reminded of the child in a manger, born in the hay surrounded by animals, God’s greatest gift to the world – simple, unconditional love.  And I wonder, what is the value of his gift to the world, if not to teach us all to be a little more loving, a little more grateful, a little less judgey, less centered on things, and more centered on just loving each other.  Happy Birthday, Jesus, and Merry Christmas to all.



5 thoughts on “The crime of being the poorer parent

  1. Pingback: The crime of being the poorer parent | AMother'sHeartSongsUnsilenced

  2. Alison

    I am reminded all the time, by my ex and children, that I am doing what I should or could since I don’t have the income my ex has. When this happens I reflect on what I have done or I am able to do. I believe it has more value than what the almighty dollar can ever accomplish. The love of a Mother can never be replaced by money or what money can buy


    1. AMother'sHeartSongsUnsilenced Post author

      Unfortunately, the love of a Mother has no economic value to these people, the only value you have for them is their joint money-making from eliminating you. Best interests of the children is a joke, it is whatever is in the best interests of the most powerful person’s bank account. Our children pay the ultimate price.

      Liked by 1 person


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