This wonderful article was originally posted by our PMA International co-founder Lundy Bancroft on his Healing and Hope site ( link below)

http://lundybancroft.blogspot.com/

Has your partner ever said to you, “You’re the controlling one! You are always trying to control me! You’re a controlling bitch!”
These accusations can create confusion for the woman. So let’s clarify a few points.

It is not control when you:

Demand that someone treat you properly, insisting that your rights be respected (including demanding that you be spoken to with respect)
Challenge someone about the work they are creating for you (such as by leaving messes around the house)
Press someone to meet responsibilities that they aren’t meeting (and if you have to keep asking them over and over again, that doesn’t make you controlling, it makes them irresponsible)
Challenge someone about behaviors of theirs that have large implications for the couple (and for the…